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  1. #1
    Silverobama is offline Key Member
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    I want to establish an English club here (50 words)

    I'm an organizer of a local English club which is held in one of the Starbucks. A group of people sits there together and speak English. Now there's a mall in my neighborhood, I want to start another English club in the Starbucks in the new mall. Tonight, I went there and talked to people in English there. A woman was interested because she heard that I use English to talk to people. She was curious and asked me what I was doing there. I said the following after greeting her.

    I want to establish an English club in this coffee shop so I'm looking for people who are interested in speaking English. Also, I practice speaking English in public, when many people looking at me, to raise my confidence because I feel nervous when speaking in front of many people.

    I think the sentence after "Also" is very redundant but it totally expresses my thought here. Please help me with the italic sentences.

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: I want to establish an English club here (50 words)

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverobama View Post
    I'm an organizer of a local English club which is held in one of the at a [branch of] Starbucks. A group of people sits there together and speaks English. Now there's a mall in my neighborhood, I want to start another English club in at the Starbucks in the new mall. Tonight, I went there and talked to some people in English. there. A woman was became interested because when she heard that I use English to talk me speaking English to people. She was curious and asked me what I was doing there. I said the following after greeting her.

    I want to establish an English club in this coffee shop so I'm looking for people who are interested in speaking English. Also, I practice speaking English in public, when many people are looking at me, to raise my confidence because I usually feel nervous when speaking in front of many people public.

    I think the sentence after "Also" is very redundant but it totally expresses my thoughts. here Please help me with the italic sentences.
    Please note my corrections above. The italic section can certainly be shortened. Here's how I would expect the dialogue to go:

    Lady: Hello. What are you doing here?
    You: Hi! I'm hoping to start an English club here. Are you interested?
    Lady: I might be. It was interesting to hear you speak English.
    You: Well, I'm normally a bit nervous speaking English in public so I make myself do it whenever I can, just to make me more confident.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. #3
    Silverobama is offline Key Member
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    Re: I want to establish an English club here (50 words)

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    Please note my corrections above. The italic section can certainly be shortened. Here's how I would expect the dialogue to go:

    Lady: Hello. What are you doing here?
    You: Hi! I'm hoping to start an English club here. Are you interested?
    Lady: I might be. It was interesting to hear you speak English.
    You: Well, I'm normally a bit nervous speaking English in public so I make myself do it whenever I can, just to make me more confident.
    You've got that right, emsr2d2. Yes, those were what I was trying to express. Much appreciated!

  4. #4
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    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: I want to establish an English club here (50 words)

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverobama View Post
    Also, I practice speaking English in public, when many people looking at me, whenever I can, to raise my confidence because I feel nervous when speaking in front of many people.
    I think the sentence after "Also" is very redundant, but it totally expresses my thought here.
    Instead of "many people", use something like "a (large) crowd".

  5. #5
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
    Charlie Bernstein is offline VIP Member
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    Re: I want to establish an English club here (50 words)

    Those are all good suggestions. I don't think what you said was redundant. You weren't repeating yourself, you were elaborating, giving more information.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

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