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Thread: scuba diving

  1. #1
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    scuba diving

    I'm trying to describe a situation when a person goes scuba diving. Is this good?

    Jim needed to clear his mind. He couldn't think of a better activity than scuba diving to help him achieve that. The boat bobbed gently on the waves as he put on his heavy suit and tank. The sky was just beginning to lighten when he dove off into the warm salty water. Shafts of sunlight burst through the waves and pierced the darkness of the abyss. It was dead silent down there except for the sound of his breathing. The abyss was completely devoid of life making Jim bored. He wanted to rise to the surface when the gleaming of an object caught his attention. Is that a ship wreck, he asked himself.


    Also, is there a beautiful way to describe this?

    https://motionarray.imgix.net/previe...-high_0004.jpg

  2. #2
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
    Charlie Bernstein is offline VIP Member
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    Re: scuba diving

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    I'm trying to describe a situation when a person goes scuba diving. Is this good?

    Jim needed to clear his mind. He couldn't think of a better way than scuba diving to help him achieve that. The boat bobbed gently on the waves as he put on his heavy suit and tank. The sky was just beginning to lighten when he dove off into the warm, salty water. Shafts of sunlight burst through the waves and pierced the darkness of the abyss. It was dead silent down there except for the sound of his breathing. The water was completely devoid of life, making Jim bored. He wanted to rise to the surface, when the gleaming of an object caught his attention. Is that a shipwreck? he asked himself.

    Also, is there a beautiful way to describe this?

    https://motionarray.imgix.net/previe...-high_0004.jpg
    Sunlight doesn't reach an ocean's abyss. The abyss is deep sea. If he just jumped in, he's not there.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

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