Reply With QuoteHe was shot. He knew he wasn't going to make it. His body stopped moving but he kept his eyes open, reluctant to let go of his life/clinging on for dear life. Then blackness overtook him.
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23-Jan-2021, 23:27 #1
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He was trying to look at this world
Is this good?
He was shot. He knew he wasn't going to make it. His body stopped moving but he kept his eyes open, trying to look at the world as much as he could. Then blackness overtook him.
I'm looking for something better to replace the underlined part with. Something like grab, seize, savor or something like that.
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24-Jan-2021, 03:18 #2
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Re: He was trying to look at this world
Last edited by tedmc; 24-Jan-2021 at 06:31.
I am not a teacher or a native speaker.
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24-Jan-2021, 10:22 #3
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Re: He was trying to look at this world
Open with "He had been shot". The shooting clearly happened before the rest.
Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.
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24-Jan-2021, 12:28 #4
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Re: He was trying to look at this world
He had been shot. He knew he wasn't going to make it. His body stopped moving but he kept his eyes open, trying to look at the world as much as he could. Then blackness overtook him.
Originally Posted by emsr2d2
