He was trying to look at this world

[alpacinou]

Is this good?

He was shot. He knew he wasn't going to make it. His body stopped moving but he kept his eyes open, trying to look at the world as much as he could. Then blackness overtook him.

I'm looking for something better to replace the underlined part with. Something like grab, seize, savor or something like that.

 

[tedmc]

He was shot. He knew he wasn't going to make it. His body stopped moving but he kept his eyes open, reluctant to let go of his life/clinging on for dear life. Then blackness overtook him.

 

[emsr2d2]

Open with "He had been shot". The shooting clearly happened before the rest.

 

[alpacinou]

Open with "He had been shot". The shooting clearly happened before the rest.

He had been shot. He knew he wasn't going to make it. His body stopped moving but he kept his eyes open, trying to look at the world as much as he could. Then blackness overtook him.