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  1. #1
    jasmin89 is offline Newbie
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    Hydroelectric Energy comment

    Hi, I have written a comment about the Chinese Three Gorges Dam.

    Does somebody can read this and give me some improvements? For any help, thank you ver much :)

    To build the three gorges dam was a really big challenge for the engineers. It is the largest hydroelectric power plant on earth. But all big projects have risks which must be assessed and managed. Hydro power or hydroelectricity refers to the conversion of energy from flowing water into electricity. It is considered a renewable energy source because the water cycle is constantly renewed by the sun. The three gorges dam in China is a whopping 22,500 megawatts, which is enough to serve sixty million people of renewable energy sources. It is a competitive form of electricity. Even tough the initial building costs are high, it is quite reliable compared to other renewable options and pairs well with other sources as it can be used as baseload power. But there are also some negative aspects, because 1.3 million people have had to leave their homes. During the building one hundred workers were killed. It is probably that there is virtually

    no chance that the project will be accident free -as a result of a 24- hour 365-day work schedule. Because also the working place was not really good. The limited space and lack of fresh air and light can result in serious health hazards. While the high construction noise can result in workers making mistakes and leading to accidents. For that reason, I think the workers have had to be informed about these risks. To bring about a successful outcome with minimal danger to the workforce. The Chinese government is really proud of the dam, but they also have killed a lot of people due to the safety. This leads me to the question, is live worth less than the Three Georges Dam? I think no, because the Chinese government go over corpses. Despite that I think that this form of energy is really good. But damming a river has a major impact also on the local environment, changing wildlife habitats, blocking fish passage and often forcing people in riverside communities to move out of their homes (like in this case). In addition, dam failures can be catastrophic, claiming the lives of those living downstream. Hydro plants are also not completely free of greenhouse gas emissions.
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 26-Jan-2021 at 18:54. Reason: Removed unnecessary bold from the whole text

  2. #2
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
    Charlie Bernstein is offline VIP Member
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    Re: Hydroelectric Energy comment

    Quote Originally Posted by jasmin89 View Post
    Hi, I have written a comment about the Chinese Three Gorges Dam.

    Would somebody can read this and give me some correctionss? Thank you ver much :)

    To build the Three Gorges Dam was a really big challenge for the engineers. It is the largest hydroelectric power plant on earth. But all big projects have risks which must be assessed and managed. Hydro power or hydroelectricity refers to the conversion of energy from flowing water into electricity. It is considered a renewable energy source because the water cycle is constantly renewed by the sun. The three gorges dam in China is a whopping 22,500 megawatts, which is enough to provide sixty million people with renewable energy sources. It is a competitive form of electricity. Even though the initial building costs are high, it is quite reliable compared to other renewable options and pairs well with other sources, as it can be used as baseload power.

    [paragraph break]

    But there are also some negative aspects. Roughly 1.3 million people have had to leave their homes. During the building, one hundred workers were killed. There is probably that there is virtually no chance that the project could be accident-free, because of its 24- hour, 365-day work schedule. Because Also, the workplace was not really good. The limited space and lack of fresh air and light resulted in serious health hazards, while the loud construction noise resulted in workers making mistakes and led to accidents.

    [paragraph break]

    For that reason, I think the workers should have been informed about these risks, to bring about a successful outcome with minimal danger to the workforce. The Chinese government is really proud of the dam, but they also have killed a lot of people due to the safety problems. This leads me to the ask: Is life worth less than the Three Georges Dam? I think not, because the Chinese government built it on corpses.

    [paragraph break]

    Despite that, I think that this form of energy is really good. But damming a river has a major impact also on the local environment, changing wildlife habitats, blocking fish passage, and often forcing people in riverside communities to move out of their homes (as in this case). In addition, dam failures can be catastrophic, claiming the lives of those living downstream. Hydro plants are also not completely free of greenhouse gas emissions.
    Welcome, Jasmin!

    I added Roughly because sentences start with capital letters.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  3. #3
    Tarheel's Avatar
    Tarheel is offline VIP Member
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    Re: Hydroelectric Energy comment

    It's not a comment. It's an essay. You capitalized Three Gorges Dam in your first sentence but not afterwards. When are you going to turn this in to your teacher?

    You are not at the level to produce the amended version with Charlie's corrections.
    Not a professional teacher

  4. #4
    jasmin89 is offline Newbie
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    Re: Hydroelectric Energy comment

    I have written this in an exam. I hope it is not very bad. I just want to know what mistakes that I have made. So for the next time I can improve it next time. With the help of Charlie I could already understand my mistakes better :)

  5. #5
    Tarheel's Avatar
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    Re: Hydroelectric Energy comment

    Quote Originally Posted by jasmin89 View Post
    I wrote this as part of an exam. I hope it is not very bad. I just want to know what mistakes that I have made. So for the next time I can improve it next time. With the help of Charlie I could already understand my mistakes better.
    You do not, I hope, want to understand your mistakes. Instead, you want to improve so you stop making those mistakes.

    At one point in your essay you say that safety caused problems. What you meant to say (but didn't) is that the lack of proper safety measures created unsafe conditions.

    I suggest that you rewrite your last post using fewer words.
    Not a professional teacher

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