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  1. #1
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Inside his head is a big dark mess.

    Goya's paintings are really weird, dark and negative.

    Does this work?

    Inside his head is a big dark mess. His mind is a Goya's painting.

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: Inside his head is a big dark mess.

    Use "a Goya painting". If you want to use the possessive, you need "is like one of Goya's paintings".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. #3
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: Inside his head is a big dark mess.

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    Use "a Goya painting". If you want to use the possessive, you need "is like one of Goya's paintings".
    Okay what about this?

    After she broke his heart, inside his head became a big dark mess, like one of Goya's paintings.

  4. #4
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: Inside his head is a big dark mess.

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    Okay what about this?

    After she broke his heart, inside his head became a big dark mess, like one of Goya's paintings.
    His head is dark and messy like one of Goya's paintings. This is her doing. She messed with his head and broke him.

    An example of a Goya's painting:

    http://cdn2.all-art.org/neoclasscism/goya/25.jpg

  5. #5
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Re: Inside his head is a big dark mess.

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    Okay what about this?

    After she broke his heart, inside his head became a big dark mess, like one of Goya's paintings.
    Have you considered alternatives to became?

  6. #6
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: Inside his head is a big dark mess.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tdol View Post
    Have you considered alternatives to became?

    What alternatives do I have?

  7. #7
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: Inside his head is a big dark mess.

    Look up "become" in any decent thesaurus and go from there.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  8. #8
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: Inside his head is a big dark mess.

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    Look up "become" in any decent thesaurus and go from there.
    I thought about using "turn" but I thought Tdol may have something a tad better for me.

  9. #9
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Re: Inside his head is a big dark mess.

    Turned into sounds better to me. As he's disturbed you could use a verb with plenty of motion like churn.

  10. #10
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: Inside his head is a big dark mess.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tdol View Post
    Turned into sounds better to me. As he's disturbed you could use a verb with plenty of motion like churn.
    After she broke his heart, inside his head churned like one of Goya's paintings, a big dark mess.

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