Kindly asking for your opinion with my Mot. stat. for applying for scholarship

[Mysterious35]

This is my motivational statement for scholarship. Will you please help me? I still have this feeling that this is not enough I truly need a second eye as the deadline is fast approaching.
Thank you.


*reasons for applying for a scholarship
*explain why your academic experience and achievements make you an appropriate scholarship recipient
*Describe how the field of study will relate to your educational and career goals,
*explain why studying abroad is the best way to accomplish them.
*word limit 350
*submission deadline: February 1

Dear Scholarship Commity,

I am an accomplished, motivated and success driven educator with ten years of experience and a dedication for academic advancement. In my life I have been lucky enough to experience both western and middle eastern educational systems as a student as well as a teacher, which granted me a broader point of view on education. Throughout my years as a teacher, observing how education shaped individuals and hence the society was what intrigued me the most. Combined with my desire to pursue a more research-based career and be of greater service to my field led me to seeking a degree in sociology of education.

After pursuing a psychology degree in the United States, I have returned to my home country Turkey and completed my undergraduate degree on English Language Teaching as salutatorian. Over the next decade I have worked with students from various ages, cultures and socio-economic backgrounds. During these years, my country went through drastic changes in its educational system. I had the opportunity to observe how these policies was aimed at shaping our society in different ways and how they actually affected the socialization of our youth.

We are globally going through extraordinary times which will most likely have lasting impact on both education and society at large. While this makes sociology of education an especially vital field of study, it is unfortunately not an option at universities here. This led me to seeking a suitable graduate program abroad, among which XXX University certainly shines through. I aim to make the best use of my critical thinking skills and unique experiences to broaden my perspective while contributing to research. I feel I am more than ready to undertake the task.

My choice to study sociology of education is deeply motivated by my drive to be in a position to positively impact educational practices. My goal is to be a part of a multinational organizations that deals with the design and administration of education. I hope my broad experience and academic success reflect my capability for success at your school.

Yours truly,
XXX

[teechar]

Dear Scholarship Committee,

I am an accomplished, motivated and success-driven educator with ten years of experience and a dedication for academic advancement. In my life, I have been lucky enough to experience both Western and Middle Eastern educational systems as a student as well as a teacher, which granted me a broader point of view perspective on education. Throughout my years as a teacher, observing how education shaped individuals and hence the society was what intrigued me the most. Combined with My desire to pursue a more research-based career and to be of greater service to my field led me to seeking pursue a degree in sociology of education.

After pursuing completing a psychology degree in the United States, I have returned to my home country Turkey and completed my undergraduate degree on in English Language Teaching as a salutatorian. Over the next decade, I have worked with students from of various ages, and from diverse cultures and socio-economic backgrounds. During those years, my country went through drastic changes in its educational system. I had the opportunity to observe how those policies was were aimed at shaping our society in different ways and how they actually affected the socialization of our youth.

We are globally going through extraordinary times which will most likely have lasting impact on both education and society at large. While this makes sociology of education an especially vital field of study, it is unfortunately not an option at universities here. This led me to seek ing a suitable graduate program abroad, among which and XXX University certainly shines through. I aim to make the best use of my critical-thinking skills and unique experiences to broaden my perspective while contributing to research. I feel I am more than ready to undertake the task.

My choice to study sociology of education is deeply motivated by my drive to be in a position to positively impact educational practices. My goal is to be a part of a multinational organization that deals with the design and administration of education. I hope my broad experience and academic success achievements reflect my capability for success at your school.

Yours truly,
XXX

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