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  1. #1
    Silverobama is offline Key Member
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    I advised to his father that....

    Yu was once my student. Tonight we met each other again. Kris was along with us for dinner. During the dinner, Kris asked me something about Yu's learning English. I told Kris how I taught Yu many years ago. I also told Kris a story. I said at that time Yu was also looking for a teacher to teach him chemistry, physics and maths. And in China these three subjects are called "science", which differs itself from "liberal art". I said at that time I knew a teacher who teaches "science" and the teacher graduated from a good university.

    But after studying from this teacher for a long time, Yu didn't get a higher score or make any improvement in his studies, so I asked Yu's father to stop the tutoring but he insisted that he wanted to keep learning from that teacher.

    I then wrote a sentence to generalize this story. I said the sentence to Kris.

    I advised his father (Yu's father) to stop tutoring from that science teacher if his scores can't be improved, but Yu insisted learning from that teacher regardless of seeing no improvements in his scores.

    Would you please improve my italic sentences to make it natural?

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: I advised to his father that....

    1. I've moved this to Editing and Writing Topics as you wrote both the main story and the shorter sentence.
    2. You used "advised to his father that" in the title but "advised his father", without "to" or "that" in the piece. Which one do you believe is correct?
    3. You don't write a sentence to "generalise" a story. You've chosen the wrong word. See if you can work out what you could use instead.
    4. If you want us to look at your sentences, you can't ask us to make it natural.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. #3
    Silverobama is offline Key Member
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    Re: I advised to his father that....

    1. Much appreciated.
    2, I will choose "I advised to his father that".
    3. I think I should have said "sum up the story".
    4. Got it. Are my sentences natural? Would you please make them natural?

  4. #4
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: I advised to his father that....

    Silver, I note that you reported your own post with the comment in the quote box at the bottom of this post. We understand that it can be frustrating for users to post a question but receive no response but:
    1) you waited only 18 hours;
    2) you inappropriately used the "Report Post" facility;
    3) it's not appropriate to ask only the moderators to help you.

    We always ask that users wait at least 24 hours before "bumping" their posts. This can be done, if it's really necessary, by simply adding a new post to the thread asking something like "Can anyone help me with my previous post?"

    Dear mods.

    May I have your help in this thread again?

    Thanks a lot!

    Silver



    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  5. #5
    Silverobama is offline Key Member
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    Re: I advised to his father that....

    Sorry, I didn't the rule about waiting for 24 hours.

    I'll bear in mind what you said above, emsr2d2.

    Much appreciated!

  6. #6
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
    Charlie Bernstein is offline VIP Member
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    Re: I advised to his father that....

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverobama View Post
    Yu was once my student. Tonight we met each other again. Kris was along with us for dinner. During the dinner, Kris asked me something about Yu's learning English. I told Kris how I taught Yu many years ago. I also told Kris a story. I said at that time Yu was also looking for a teacher to teach him chemistry, physics, and maths. And in China these three subjects are called "science", which differs itself from "liberal arts". I said at that time I knew a teacher who teaches "science", and the teacher graduated from a good university.

    But after studying with this teacher for a long time, Yu didn't get a higher score or make any improvement in his studies, so I asked Yu's father to stop the tutoring, but he insisted that he wanted to keep learning from that teacher.

    I then wrote a sentence to generalize this story. I said this to Kris: "I advised his father [Yu's father] to stop using that science tutor if Yu's scores can't be improved, but Yu insisted on studying with that teacher regardless of seeing no improvements in his scores."

    Would you please improve my italic sentences to make it natural?

    Of course!
    As always, put quotation marks around direct quotes. To insert words that are not part of the exact quote, use brackets, like this: [ . . . . ].
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

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