Are you okay Jane? Your face has turned dark pink like medium rare steak

[alpacinou]

"Are you okay Jane? Your face has turned dark pink like medium rare steak! Let me get you some water," Jack said.
Jane's eyes were fixed on him as he poured water. He came back with the glass half full, running his hands on her arms as she drank the water.
Jane could hear conflicting voices in her head. Was this the moment? She tried to tell him the truth but her nerves failed her.
"One should not underestimate the power of self-denial. I shouldn't have wolfed down those sushi rolls so quickly," she said.

 

[Tdol]

I hope Jack doesn't have any interest in Jane emotionally.

 

[Tdol]

BTW, a medium rare steak is only pink on the inside, so it's not a great comparison to someone's skin without a bit of clarification.

 

[alpacinou]

I hope Jack doesn't have any interest in Jane emotionally.

What do you mean? Is it correct and natural sounding?

 

[alpacinou]

BTW, a medium rare steak is only pink on the inside, so it's not a great comparison to someone's skin without a bit of clarification.

And this?

Your face has turned dark pink like the inside of medium rare steak!

 

[alpacinou]

It's not what I would call flattering

Do you have any suggestions to complete this sentence?

Your face has turned dark pink like...

 

[emsr2d2]

And this?

Your face has turned dark pink like the inside of medium rare steak!

No one would ever say that!

 

[Tdol]

What do you mean? Is it correct and natural sounding?

Comparing someone's complexion to the inside of a steak is not flattery.

 

[emsr2d2]

We really don't fill our dialogue with similes and metaphors. We'd say "Are you OK, Jane? You've gone bright pink!"

 

[alpacinou]

We really don't fill our dialogue with similes and metaphors. We'd say "Are you OK, Jane? You've gone bright pink!"

Good point. If the writing is in third person, then the writer can use stuff like that.

I'm learning a lot here.;-)