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  1. #1
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Her tears and her screams raced inside his head.

    1. John fell into a deep sleep. His dead mother was still alive on the hospital bed. Her tears and her screams raced inside his head.

    2. She lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Her sister's desperate screams raced in her head.
    Last edited by alpacinoutd; 31-Jan-2021 at 13:40.

  2. #2
    jutfrank's Avatar
    jutfrank is offline VIP Member
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    Re: Her tears and hear screams raced inside his head.

    His dead mother was still alive? I'm not sure how you want me to imagine that.

    (You haven't proofread either sentence very well. Have another look.)

  3. #3
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: Her tears and hear screams raced inside his head.

    Quote Originally Posted by jutfrank View Post
    His dead mother was still alive? I'm not sure how you want me to imagine that.

    (You haven't proofread either sentence very well. Have another look.)
    I fixed them.

    Yes his mother had passed away but in his dream she was still alive.

  4. #4
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: Her tears and hear screams raced inside his head.

    My focus is on the "race" part. If it doesn't work, what can I use?

  5. #5
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
    Charlie Bernstein is offline VIP Member
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    Re: Her tears and hear screams raced inside his head.

    Raced is fine.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  6. #6
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Re: Her tears and hear screams raced inside his head.

    How about ran round?

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