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  1. #1
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    its rising rays spraying the forested hills

    Is it correct to use "spray" like that? If not, what other verb can I use?

    The sun was behind the towering mountain, its rising rays spraying the forested hills in an orange halo.

  2. #2
    tedmc is online now VIP Member
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    Re: its rising rays spraying the forested hills

    The sun rises, not its rays.

    How about lighting up/illuminating/bathing/infusing?
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

  3. #3
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: its rising rays spraying the forested hills

    Fair enough. What about this?

    The sun was behind the towering mountain, its hazy rays spraying the forested hills in an orange halo.

  4. #4
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    Charlie Bernstein is offline VIP Member
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    Re: its rising rays spraying the forested hills

    Halos are circular, so that's not an effective image.

    And how much can the sun light the hills from behind a mountain? I can imagine it lighting the treetops.

    As for style, your adjective-to-noun ratio is 4:5, which can get tiring quickly if you keep it up.

    Here's a 1:5 ratio: From behind the mountain, the sun's orange glow lit the hills and trees.

    Open up some contemporary English-language writers, and do some adjective-to-noun and adverb-to-verb counts.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  5. #5
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: its rising rays spraying the forested hills

    Generally, can spray be used to talk about sunlight in any situation?

    The sun was rising, its rays spraying the hills.

  6. #6
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
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    Re: its rising rays spraying the forested hills

    It's unusual, but there's nothing wrong with it
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  7. #7
    tedmc is online now VIP Member
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    Re: its rising rays spraying the forested hills

    I don't think it is a good idea to liken sunlight to the spray presumably from a liquid source, but it is subjective of course.
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

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