Results 1 to 3 of 3
  1. #1
    alpacinoutd is online now Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • Persian
      • Home Country:
      • Iran
      • Current Location:
      • Iran
    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    Posts
    2,839

    The airport clerk who announced her flight was tired.

    Is this okay?

    The airport clerk who announced her flight was tired. "Delta Airlines Flight 582 for New Orleans is now boarding at gate G-12." A flicker of a smile crossed Hana's face. "This is me." Jack's mind was a haze of doubt and confusion but even through the rising haze, he knew it was now or never, do or die. A little voice deep in his head kept warning him. Do this right. For once in your life you pathetic moron. Okay here we go. "I have feelings for you Hana." He tried a few times but he couldn't quite get the words out of his throat. It's now or never. It's never alright, he thought. Hana strode towards the departure lounge. She turned back, waved her hand at him and disappeared in a hoard of passengers. It would have been a waste of breath. She has a fiance anyway, Jack kept telling himself as he walked back to his car.

  2. #2
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
    Charlie Bernstein is offline VIP Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    9,083

    Re: The airport clerk who announced her flight was tired.

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    Is this okay?

    The airport clerk who announced her flight was tired. "Delta Airlines Flight 582 for New Orleans is now boarding at gate G-12."

    Use paragraph breaks to separate speakers.


    A flicker of a smile crossed Hanna's/Hannah's face. "This is me."

    You've shifted to another person again, so make it a new paragraph.


    Jack's mind was a haze of doubt and confusion, but even through the rising haze, he knew it was now or never, do or die. A little voice deep in his head kept warning him. Do this right. For once in your life, you pathetic moron. Okay here we go: I have feelings for you Hanna/Hannah." [Don't use quotation marks unless he actually speaks.] He tried a few times but he couldn't quite get the words out of his throat. It's now or never. It's never alright, he thought.

    The point of view has shifted again, so again: new paragraph.


    [Hanna/Hannah]
    strode towards the departure lounge. She turned back, waved her hand at him and disappeared in a horde of passengers. It would have been a waste of breath. She has a fiance anyway, Jack kept telling himself as he walked back to his car.
    Poor Jack!
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  3. #3
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is online now Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    60,302

    Re: The airport clerk who announced her flight was tired.

    Is it really relevant that the agent who made the announcement was tired?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •