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  1. #1
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Jane stood up, unable to feel her feet.

    Is this correct and natural?

    Jane stood up, unable to feel her feet. She had gone numb in the red plastic seats of the airport. She lifted her luggage with left hand, feeling its heft. They clerk handed her the boarding pass with a thin smile. She trudged towards the quiet departure lounge. She stopped, looking at her cellphone, feeling her heart flutter. She almost dialed her mother's cell but put the phone back in her pocket. Jane stepped on the plane, ready to leave her life, her family her city behind her.

  2. #2
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
    Charlie Bernstein is offline VIP Member
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    Re: Jane stood up, unable to feel her feet.

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    Is this correct and natural?

    Jane stood up, unable to feel her feet. She had gone numb in the red plastic seats of the airport. She lifted her luggage with her left hand, feeling its heft. The clerk handed her a boarding pass, smiling thinly. She trudged towards the quiet departure lounge. She stopped, looking at her cellphone, feeling her heart flutter. She almost dialed her mother's cell but put the phone back in her pocket. Jane stepped on the plane, ready to leave her life, her family, her city behind her.
    Boarding passes don't have smiles.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

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