Reply With QuoteMy suggestion: Just say eyes once.
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06-Feb-2021, 22:58 #1
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Sasha was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.
Is this correct and natural?
Sasha was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He stared into her deep blue eyes, feeling that his love for Tiffany was being lost in Sasha's eyes.
I think it needs work. Any suggestions?
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06-Feb-2021, 23:56 #2
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Re: Sasha was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.
I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.
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07-Feb-2021, 00:33 #3
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Re: Sasha was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.
Is this okay?
Sasha was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He stared into her deep blue eyes, feeling that his love for Tiffany was being lost in them.
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07-Feb-2021, 14:57 #4
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Re: Sasha was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.
Is it too much to use "melt"?
Sasha was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He stared into her deep blue eyes, feeling that his love for Tiffany was being melted in them.
