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  1. #1
    rodgers white is offline Senior Member
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    ...feeling a little devilish...

    Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.

    ************************************************** ************************************************** ****

    Later that evening, Gan, feeling a little devilish, asked his daughter, “That boy following us today, I saw him smiling at you, a lot. Should I worry about him, do I need to have a serious discussion with him?”

    Lanhua nearly fell out of her skin, the unexpected comment coming out of the blue like that embarrassed her, and she had no time to cover it up.
    Jingying almost choked on a bite of food when she tried not to laugh. Regathering her composure, she said,“Husband, you are embarrassing our daughter. I’m sure if there were anything to tell, she would have already told us. Wouldn’t you, Daughter?”

    By adding her opinion, Jingying had given Lanhua enough time to calm herself. “Ahh, uhm, yes, Mother, of course. Weihu likes me, but so far he mostly smiles, so I smile back. He’s a nice boy, though a little shy.”

    Gan said, “Mostly smiles, what…?”

    Jingying cut him off. “Gan, stop teasing her. I’ll have a mother-daughter talk with her later, and I’ll let you know if there is anything of concern.” Jingying winked at her daughter with the eye Gan couldn’t see.

    Gan said, “You are right, honey; sorry Lanhua, I’ll leave this to you and your mother until you think your dad deserves to know anything, hopefully before you get married.”
    Three passions have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.

  2. #2
    tedmc is offline VIP Member
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    Re: ...feeling a little devilish...

    Quote Originally Posted by rodgers white View Post
    Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.

    ************************************************** ************************************************** ****

    Later that evening, Gan, feeling a little devilish, asked his daughter, “That boy following us today...I saw him smiling at you, a lot. Should I worry about him (comma splice) and do I need to have a serious discussion with him?”

    Lanhua nearly fell out of her skin, with the unexpected comment coming out of the blue like that embarrassed embarassing her, and she had no time to cover it up.
    Jingying almost choked on a bite of food when she tried not to laugh. Regathering her composure, she said,“Husband, you are embarrassing our daughter. I’m sure if there were anything to tell, she would have already told us. Wouldn’t you, Daughter?”

    By adding her opinion, Jingying had given Lanhua enough time to calm herself. “Ahh, uhm, yes, Mother, of course. Weihu likes me, but so far he mostly smiles, so I smile back. He’s a nice boy, though a little shy.”

    Gan said, “Mostly smiles, what…?”

    Jingying cut him off. “Gan, stop teasing her. I’ll have a mother-daughter talk with her later, and I’ll let you know if there is anything of concern.” Jingying winked at her daughter with the eye without Gan couldn’t seeing.

    Gan said, “You are right, honey; sorry Lanhua, I’ll leave this to you and your mother until you think your dad deserves to know anything, hopefully before you get married.”
    .
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

  3. #3
    Tarheel's Avatar
    Tarheel is offline VIP Member
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    Re: ...feeling a little devilish...

    Try:

    "That boy following us today -- I saw him smiling at you a lot. Should I worry about him? Do I need to have a serious talk with tim?"

    Punctuation!
    Not a professional teacher

  4. #4
    Tarheel's Avatar
    Tarheel is offline VIP Member
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    Re: ...feeling a little devilish...

    Say:

    "Isn't that right, Lanhua?"
    Not a professional teacher

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