alpacinou
Key Member
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2019
- Member Type
- Interested in Language
- Native Language
- Persian
- Home Country
- Iran
- Current Location
- Iran
Is this correct and natural?
Jane searched her room to find her necklace. She then went to Bill's room, dropped to her knees, scanning his messy room. Bill opened the door, stood in the doorframe and looked at her trying to suppress his laughter. Jane sat up from her all fours position and stared at him. There was shame in her green gaze. "I didn't mean to intrude. I was desperate to find it," she said.
I know the underlined part doesn't work. How can I fix it?
Jane searched her room to find her necklace. She then went to Bill's room, dropped to her knees, scanning his messy room. Bill opened the door, stood in the doorframe and looked at her trying to suppress his laughter. Jane sat up from her all fours position and stared at him. There was shame in her green gaze. "I didn't mean to intrude. I was desperate to find it," she said.
I know the underlined part doesn't work. How can I fix it?