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  1. #1
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Jack opened his eyes. A thirtyish woman was sleeping next to him

    Is this correct and natural?

    Jack opened his eyes. A thirtyish woman was sleeping next to him, her dark hair sprawled across the pillow, a riot of loose strands. She rolled over and her unfocused and somewhat confused eyes met his. Her gaze drifted from Jack's eyes to the pale blue blinds. The winter morning was bleeding through holes in the curtains.

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: Jack opened his eyes. A thirtyish woman was sleeping next to him

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    Is this correct and natural?

    Jack opened his eyes. A thirtyish-year-old woman was sleeping next to him, her dark hair sprawled across the pillow, a riot of loose strands. She rolled over and her unfocused and somewhat confused eyes met his. Her gaze drifted from Jack's eyes to the pale blue blinds. The winter morning was bleeding through holes in the curtains.
    See above. I'd probably say "A woman of about thirty ...".

    Look at the last two sentences. Does the window have blinds or curtains?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. #3
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: Jack opened his eyes. A thirtyish woman was sleeping next to him

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    Does the window have blinds or curtains?
    I thought they are kind of the same. I googled and realized that is not the case.

    To avoid the repetition of "curtains", can I use drapes? If not, what word can I use? I mean I know I can use a pronoun, but can I also use a word?

    Jack opened his eyes. A thirtyish woman was sleeping next to him, her dark hair sprawled across the pillow, a riot of loose strands. She rolled over and her unfocused and somewhat confused eyes met his. Her gaze drifted from Jack's eyes to the pale blue drapes. The winter morning was bleeding through holes in the curtains.

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