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  1. #1
    rodgers white is offline Senior Member
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    ...as delicate as...

    Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *********

    After meeting Lanhua in person, Xunying began spending more time with Weihu and his group of friends because he wanted to see Lanhua more often. This change elicited some emotional disturbances within Weihu, such as jealousy. Weihu had, in his own mind, accepted that he and Lanhua were just friends and he was happy with that outcome, but pangs of jealousy, to his annoyance, still emerged.

    The unwanted emotions soon faded though, after he met Lanhua’s friend, Bailian, an exquisitely dainty young woman who most boys ignored at first because they mistook her for a child. However, Weihu saw a fairy princess whose every movement touched his heart like the tip of a butterfly wing as she floated about them. Lanhua knew they’d hit it off, and though she too felt pangs of regret, she couldn’t think of a more perfect match.

    People who came to know Bailian would soon find out that she was not as delicate as she appeared, but was a force to be reckoned with. Beneath her soft porcelain white skin was the muscles of an athlete, she was a hunter and was becoming well renowned for her skills. During the summer, she had entered the athletics festival for the first time, winning many competitions, defeating every other girl. In the unisex events, she beat many of the boys, winning the marathon. Unlike Lili, Bailian didn’t always move slowly through the forest she flittered though it.
    Three passions have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.

  2. #2
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
    Charlie Bernstein is offline VIP Member
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    Re: ...as delicate as...

    Make that: were the muscles of an athlete.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

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