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  1. #1
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    John looked out the window.

    Is this correct and natural?

    John looked out the window. The land outside was shrouded/cloaked in spring, the flowers mingling to form a blaze of color. She opened the door and shuffled across the room to look out the window too. John could feel her sensual warmth seeping into his body. He felt the hairs in the back of his neck rise as she got closer. There was something evil about her.

  2. #2
    Tarheel's Avatar
    Tarheel is offline VIP Member
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    Re: John looked out the window.

    The phrase "shrouded in spring" seems a bit weird to me. Perhaps:

    The land was blooming with the newness of spring.
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  3. #3
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: John looked out the window.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    The phrase "shrouded in spring" seems a bit weird to me. Perhaps:

    The land was blooming with the newness of spring.
    What about cloaked in spring/winter/summer/autumn?

  4. #4
    Tarheel's Avatar
    Tarheel is offline VIP Member
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    Re: John looked out the window.

    I wouldn't use it. (How can something be cloaked in a season?)
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  5. #5
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: John looked out the window.

    Both "shrouded" and "cloaked" work better with things that give us the impression of darkness in some way, not light. Things connected with autumn and winter (thick fog, for example) would work. Both words sound too depressing/dull for spring and summer.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  6. #6
    Tarheel's Avatar
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    Re: John looked out the window.

    "Cloaked in fog" would work.
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