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  1. #1
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    These motorcycles are really old and loud.

    Is this correct and natural?

    These motorcycles are really old and loud. When you walk in the city, when they ride past you, the painfully loud and ghastly sputter of their engine sweeps through your body, rattles you to the core, leaving you appalled. Sometimes, you are fast sleep, then one of these motorcycles rides in your alley and it jolts you out of sweet sleep. You wish you could grab one of those god-awful motorcycles and throw it in the lake.

    I think it needs work. How would you express it?
    Last edited by alpacinoutd; 15-Feb-2021 at 00:56.

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Re: These motorcycles are really old and loud.

    Are the engines actually sputtering? Could they be roaring?

  3. #3
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
    Charlie Bernstein is online now VIP Member
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    Re: These motorcycles are really old and loud.

    Change in your alley to through your alley or down your alley.

    (Up your alley is a fixed phrase that means something else. itr means it's one of your interests: Here's a story that's right up your alley.)
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

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