[Essay] ...as a shield...

[rodgers white]

Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.

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Moogh and the girls were soon out of sight, the mixture of Meili’s screams and Suxin’s laughter drowned out by the terrible sound of the meteors ripping through the air. Moogh delivered the children safely to the cave and immediately turned and ran back outside.

Just as Yang and his sister neared the cave entrance, one of the smaller meteors exploded in the atmosphere, and a concussive wave threw them to the ground, injured, they could barely stand. Seconds later, however, Moogh was there, and they climbed onto his back. Moogh carried them to the cave, entering just as the main body of meteorites struck the valley. The ground shook, throwing them all to the ground again, and they feared that the cave would collapse on top of them, but it held together, though rock dust now filled the air.

Outside, a nightmare, the valley was blasted flat, not a house or tree stood, and everything burned. The one good thing was that the circle of mountains that the first meteorite strike created thousands or millions of years ago, their valley, acted as a shield and mitigated the damage outside of it. A few fires did erupt beyond the valley, but most of the animals and birds had already escaped; so, loss of life was minimal. Back at the cave, Moogh had managed to squeeze through to the cavern, beyond, luckily, his antlers were seasonal; otherwise, he, could not have made it through the narrow passage.

 

[tedmc]

Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.

*********************************************************************************************************
Moogh and the girls were soon out of sight while the mixture of Meili’s screams and Suxin’s laughter were drowned out by the terrible sound of the meteors ripping through the air. Moogh delivered the children safely to the cave and immediately turned and ran back outside.

Just as Yang and his sister neared the cave entrance, one of the smaller meteors exploded in the atmosphere, and a concussive wave (impact) threw them to the ground. Injured, they could barely stand. Seconds later, however, Moogh was there, and they climbed onto his back. Moogh carried them to the cave, entering just as the main body of meteorites struck the valley. The ground shook, throwing them all to the ground again, and they feared that the cave would collapse on top of them, but it held together, though rock dust now filled the air.

Outside, a nightmare, the valley was blasted flat, not a house or tree stood, and everything [STRIKE]burned[/STRIKE] was burnt down. [STRIKE]The[/STRIKE] One good thing was that the circle of mountains that the first meteorite [STRIKE]strike[/STRIKE] struck [STRIKE]created[/STRIKE] thousands or millions of years ago, created [STRIKE]their [/STRIKE] a valley, which acted as a shield and mitigated the damage outside of it. A few fires did erupt beyond the valley, but most of the animals and birds had already escaped, so loss of life was minimal. Back at the cave, Moogh had managed to squeeze through to the cavern (no comma) beyond, luckily, as his antlers were seasonal; otherwise, he, [STRIKE]could[/STRIKE] would not have made it through the narrow passage.

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