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  1. #1
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    John and Emily slept in a pink hammock

    Is this correct and natural?

    John and Emily slept in a pink hammock on the beach, the gentle murmur of the lake crooning them a lullaby. The dawn chorus from the jungle behind woke John. He caressed her hair, watching the rising sun illuminate her snow white, immaculate skin. He began to run his fingers down her back as if he was touching a handmade carpet.
    Last edited by alpacinoutd; 25-Feb-2021 at 22:01.

  2. #2
    Yankee is offline Senior Member
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    Re: John and Emily slept in a pink hammock

    Yeah, and then what?

  3. #3
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: John and Emily slept in a pink hammock

    Quote Originally Posted by Yankee View Post
    Yeah, and then what?
    Is all of it really correct?

    I don't know what happens next yet. I am practicing. It has a happy ending.

  4. #4
    Yankee is offline Senior Member
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    Re: John and Emily slept in a pink hammock

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    Is all of it really correct? Yes.

    I don't know what happens next yet. I am practicing. It has a happy ending.
    Y.

  5. #5
    Tarheel's Avatar
    Tarheel is offline VIP Member
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    Re: John and Emily slept in a pink hammock

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    Is this correct and natural?

    John and Emily slept in a pink hammock on the beach, the gentle murmur of the lake crooning them a lullaby. The dawn chorus from the jungle behind woke John. He caressed her hair, watching the rising sun illuminate her snow white, immaculate skin. He sensuously ran his fingers down her back.
    A carpet doesn't have feelings and can't respond to your touch. So I wouldn't use that phrase.

    You can replace sensuously with slowly or lovingly.
    Not a professional teacher

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