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  1. #1
    rodgers white is online now Senior Member
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    ...linger on for...

    Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.

    ************************************************** ********************************************

    The rain came, and it stayed the night. It was not heavy rain, but it was constant, and by morning the air was clean, and the fires were out, with just a few dying embers left smouldering. The smell of wet ash was quite strong and would linger on for many days. The Elders organised a group to inspect the valley. Gan was not part of the group because the Elders insisted that he rest and attend to his injured children.

    Xiaohua had said, “Gan, I am pretty sure you can do anything you put your mind to, but that doesn’t mean you have to do everything. Yours is a family of heroes, but even heroes have to have a break, if not for themselves, then to allow others the chance to learn and gain experience. You can, however, make suggestions.”

    Gan pushed his disappointment aside, and said, “We need to know what it looks like; a verbal description will not be enough. Send some artists, skilled sketchers.” Gan went over to his stack of belongings and returned with a small bundle of his precious engineering paper that he had brought from the ancient city.

    “They can use these sheets of paper to make their sketches.” Gan kept a few pages for himself. He wanted to help plan and design the village when it was rebuilt and had already sketched a few ideas before the meteor strike.
    Three passions have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.

  2. #2
    Tarheel's Avatar
    Tarheel is offline VIP Member
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    Re: ...linger on for...

    Perhaps:

    The rain came as expected. It rained steadily all night.

    Also:

    The smell of wet ashes was quite strong and would linger for many days.

    I don't understand why you capitalized elders. I don't understand Xiaohua's brief speech. I don't understand why you used had said.

    What does Gan want a sketch of? Did the meteor destroy the village?
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  3. #3
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Re: ...linger on for...

    If the air is clean, why will it smell of ash for many days?

  4. #4
    rodgers white is online now Senior Member
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    Re: ...linger on for...

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    Perhaps:

    The rain came as expected. It rained steadily all night.

    Also:

    The smell of wet ashes was quite strong and would linger for many days.

    I think both are acceptable. Is that right?

    I don't understand why you capitalized elders. I don't understand Xiaohua's brief speech. I don't understand why you used had said.

    I capitalized elders because I want to use Elders to refer to a group of respectful advisors of the tribal council.

    What does Gan want a sketch of? Did the meteor destroy the village?
    Yes, it destroyed everything.
    Three passions have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.

  5. #5
    Tarheel's Avatar
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    Re: ...linger on for...

    The word elders is not normally capitalized. (It could be. A group of people could decide to call themselves The Elders. Otherwise it's used to refer to the older, more experienced people as a group.)

    Older people have been around a long time and have learned a few things. (Nowadays we elect people to office, and they don't know anything.)
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  6. #6
    rodgers white is online now Senior Member
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    Re: ...linger on for...

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    The word elders is not normally capitalized. (It could be. A group of people could decide to call themselves The Elders. Otherwise it's used to refer to the older, more experienced people as a group.)

    Older people have been around a long time and have learned a few things. (Nowadays we elect people to office, and they don't know anything.)
    Yeah, I just want to use The Elders to refer to a certain group of the older, more experienced , respectful people in the tribal council, who made the most important decisions for the tribe.
    Three passions have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.

  7. #7
    Tarheel's Avatar
    Tarheel is offline VIP Member
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    Re: ...linger on for...

    Better perhaps is the village elders although the elders is okay too. They are a group of people who have lived long enough to have acquired some wisdom.
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