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  1. #1
    rodgers white is offline Senior Member
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    ... damp and clung...

    Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.

    ************************************************** ********************************************

    It was good that Gan had asked the artists to draw what they saw. The valley was a very sorry sight, indeed, only a few trees still stood while most lay broken and burned. The ash was damp and clung to everything. The village itself was nowhere to be seen. It had been obliterated, shattered into a million pieces. If the artists had drawn what they felt, each would have drawn a page full of tears and despair.

    The Elders had agreed to one of Ganís new village designs and presented it to the people, who accepted it without complaint. Gan would have preferred some complaint, or better yet, some suggestions, but he realised that people just wanted to get it done, to go home.

    Cleaning crews of five people were assigned areas to work in. The work was messy, and it was emotionally draining. After about a week, the rain returned and washed the ash and debris into the river. The river rose and then flooded the lowland areas when it became choked by debris, creating a dam where the river exited the valley, but on the third day, the dam broke, and the river cleared. When the rain finally stopped, they found that it had done most of their work for them. Some laughed then cursed the rain for not coming sooner; others felt blessed for their hard work. The work itself, however, had only just begun.
    Three passions have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.

  2. #2
    tedmc is online now VIP Member
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    Re: ... damp and clung...

    Quote Originally Posted by rodgers white View Post
    Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.

    ************************************************** ********************************************

    It was good that Gan had asked the artists to draw what they saw. The valley was a very sorry sight (no comma) indeed; only a few trees still stood while most lay broken destroyed and burned. The ash was damp and clung to everything. The village itself was nowhere to be seen. It had been obliterated, shattered into a million pieces. If the artists had drawn what they felt, each would have drawn a page full of tears and despair.

    The Elders had agreed to one of Gan’s new village designs and presented it to the people, who accepted it without complaint. Gan would have preferred some complaint, or better yet, some suggestions, but he realised that people just wanted to get it done with, to and go home.

    Cleaning crews of five people were assigned areas to work in. The work was messy, and it was emotionally draining. After about a week, the rain returned and washed the ash and debris into the river. The river rose and then flooded the lowland areas when it became choked by debris, creating a dam where the river exited the valley, but on the third day, the dam broke, and the river cleared. When the rain finally stopped, they found that it had done most of their work for them. Some laughed, then cursed the rain for not coming sooner; others felt blessed for their hard work. The work itself, however, had only just begun.
    .
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

  3. #3
    Tarheel's Avatar
    Tarheel is offline VIP Member
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    Re: ... damp and clung...

    Quite an imagination!
    Not a professional teacher

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