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  1. #1
    Glizdka is offline Senior Member
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    Embark on an arduous journey; loneliness will keep you company

    This comes from the Martura exam 2015 writing task on page 11. It's meant to meet the standards of an essay, and level B2/C1 is expected. I liked the topic, so I decided to write it. Could you please check it?
    We often hear about brave people who embarked on an arduous journey, such as climbing Mount Everest, and decided not to bring anyone but themselves. In this essay, I am going to present the advantages and disadvantages of going alone on such a trip to decide if it really is better to do this all by yourself.

    The first thing I would like to talk about is the crippling loneliness of being left on your own against all the challenges you have submitted yourself to. Having a companion you could talk to could help keep the morale high. On the other hand, people can become abusive and start blaming each other, especially when exposed to the stress caused by a daunting task. This may well doom the expedition altogether.

    Apart from psychological effects, bringing another person with yourself also affects how well you will actually perform. You could combine your strengths and talents to achieve better results, making use of the effect of synergy. However, going easy on yourself is not what you have come here for in the first place. Ultimately, it is all about proving that you are capable of achieving something meant to be difficult.

    Overall, although I believe that the benefits of companionship and teamwork are very real, I think they are nothing compared with how much more rewarding and fulfilling it feels to manage to succeed without anyone’s help, which is why I come to the conclusion that going alone really is better.
    Last edited by Glizdka; 06-Mar-2021 at 21:02.

  2. #2
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
    Charlie Bernstein is offline VIP Member
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    Re: Embark on an arduous journey; loneliness will keep you company

    Quote Originally Posted by Glizdka View Post
    This comes from the Martura exam 2015 writing task on page 11. It's meant to meet the standards of an essay, and level B2/C1 is expected. I liked the topic, so I decided to write it. Could you please check it?
    We often hear about brave people who embarked on an arduous journeys, such as climbing Mount Everest, and decided not to bring anyone but themselves.

    Has anyone ever climbed Everest solo?


    In this essay, I am going to present the advantages and disadvantages of going alone on such a trip, to decide if it really is better to do this all by yourself.

    The first thing I would like to talk about is the crippling loneliness of being left on your own against all the challenges you have subjected yourself to. Having a companion you could talk to could help keep your morale high. On the other hand, people can become abusive and start blaming each other, especially when exposed to the stress caused by a daunting task. This may well doom the expedition altogether.

    Apart from psychological effects, bringing another person with yourself also affects how well you will actually perform. You could combine your strengths and talents to achieve better results, making use of the effect of synergy. However, going easy on yourself is not what you have come here for in the first place. Ultimately, it is all about proving that you are capable of achieving something meant to be difficult.

    Congratulations! You used effects, affects, and effect correctly! Most English speakers can't.


    Overall, although I believe that the benefits of companionship and teamwork are very real, I think they are nothing compared with how much more rewarding and fulfilling it feels to manage to succeed without anyone’s help, which is why I come to the conclusion that going alone really is better.
    It's goodl

    One thought about succeeding without help: Remember that we're all standing on someone's shoulders.

    I have a friend whose daughter sailed across the Atlantic solo in a small boat. She went alone, but she was raised in a sailing household, which made her a good sailor, and she grew up with enough money to cultivate an expensive hobby. She also had a boat that was seaworthy thanks to the countless people who have designed, built, and improved boats (and the materials and equipment that go into them) across the centuries.

    So she went alone, but she had lots of of help. (And to her credit, she knows it.)
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  3. #3
    Glizdka is offline Senior Member
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    Re: Embark on an arduous journey; loneliness will keep you company

    We all stand on the shoulders of giants.

  4. #4
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Re: Embark on an arduous journey; loneliness will keep you company

    decided not to bring anyone but themselves
    Decided to go it alone?

  5. #5
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    Re: Embark on an arduous journey; loneliness will keep you company

    If I were your examiner, I'd fail you for missing the screamingly obvious point that if you take a friend up Mount Everest and he freezes to death, you have someone to cannibalize.

  6. #6
    Tarheel's Avatar
    Tarheel is offline VIP Member
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    Re: Embark on an arduous journey; loneliness will keep you company

    Quote Originally Posted by Glizdka View Post
    We all stand on the shoulders of giants.
    Yes, but we are not all of us Isaac Newton
    Not a professional teacher

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