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  1. #1
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    I saw her after fifteen years

    Is this correct and natural?

    I saw her after fifteen years, no less gorgeous. Every bit as enchanting as she used to be. I was no less dazzled by her than I was as a teenager.

  2. #2
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
    Charlie Bernstein is offline VIP Member
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    Re: I saw her after fifteen years

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    Is this correct and natural?

    I saw her after fifteen years. No less gorgeous. Every bit as enchanting as she used to be. I was no less dazzled by her than I was as a teenager.
    The teachers here usually don't like sentence fragments. But it's clear that you only do it intentionally, which should be fine.

    With that comma, it almost sounded like you were still gorgeous. Making "No less gorgeous" a fragment like the following sentence makes it clearer that she's still gorgeous.

    It also has a better rhythm this way, don't you think?
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  3. #3
    Tarheel's Avatar
    Tarheel is offline VIP Member
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    Re: I saw her after fifteen years

    Perhaps:

    She's as beautiful as ever. Mm, I still have a crush on her after all this time.
    Not a professional teacher

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