Help: any errors for below paragraph?

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henryxu1122

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Hi there

Thanks for helping me to point out any improper description for below paragraph:)


Oriloyi was formed from part of these 3 words, Ori(Original), lo(Love), Yi(my daughter’s nick name.). I created this brand for celebrating my beloved daughter’s birth and also wanted to inspire myself to continuously remember the tenet of Original Love. I believe this is also the nature of life.

As the founder of Oriloyi, I will always insist on the highest standard to bring high quality products for our customers. The product is not only for fulfilling daily use, more importantly, it is also for us to keep in mind what is our original love in our life and love our families and friends forever.
 

Rover_KE

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We'll be happy to welcome you to the forum and consider your text, henryxu, when you have corrected the information in your profile. You appear to have made random selections from the options available.

Click Settings and then Edit Profile.

You will lose none of your anonymity, and we like to think new members asking for our help are telling us the truth about themselves.
 
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emsr2d2

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After you've done that, look up the definition of "improper". It's not the word you needed.
 

henryxu1122

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We'll be happy to welcome you to the forum and consider your text, henryxu, when you have corrected the information in your profile. You appear to have made random selections from the options available.

Click Settings and then Edit Profile.

You will lose none of your anonymity, and we like to think new members asking for our help are telling us the truth about themselves.

thanks for your reply, I have corrected my profile, please let me know if you have further questions, thanks.
 

henryxu1122

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thanks for giving me suggestions on above paragraph.
 

Tarheel

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Oriloyi was formed from part of these 3 words: Ori(Original), lo(Love), Yi(my daughter’s nickname.). I created this brand [STRIKE]for celebrating[/STRIKE] to celebrate my beloved daughter’s birth and also because I wanted to inspire myself to continuously remember the tenet of Original Love. I believe this is also the nature of life.

As the founder of Oriloyi, I will always insist on the highest standards for making high quality products for our customers. The product is not only for daily use, but more importantly, it is also for reminding us about our original love in our lives and to love our families and friends forever.

I don't know what your product is, but you seem to be asking an awful lot of it.
:)

(You don't have have to thank me before I have done anything. Instead, you can thank me after I help you (if I have).)
 
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emsr2d2

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Thanks for your reply. I have corrected my profile. Please let me know if you have further questions. Thanks.

Note my corrections above. You must separate complete sentences with a full stop, and start every new sentence with a capital letter.

Thanks for giving me suggestions on the above paragraph.

When you wrote that, we hadn't given you any suggestions. Thank us after we help you, not before.
 

Tarheel

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Oriloyi

Thanks for your reply. I have corrected my profile. Please let me know if you have further questions. Thanks!

Please remember to capitalize the first word of every sentence. Also, please remember to use proper punctuation.

You can thank me now.
:)

[Cross posted.]
 
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