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  1. #11
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: Where the things stuck?

    Quote Originally Posted by Economist2010 View Post
    Hi Karen,
    Who is Karen?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  2. #12
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
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    Re: Where the things stuck?

    Quote Originally Posted by Economist2010 View Post
    Hi Karen,

    I have made some tweaks to the draft of my email to be more professional and to be acceptable to the CEO.

    I really appreciate your help in editing it.

    "I was and am still grateful for your enthusiasm for me as a candidate, in treating my application, and in each of and for your positive replies to my follow up e-mails. This something I appreciate and I wish to be exist until you have me on board.

    Don't assume you'll get the job. That would make you sound like you're not listening.


    I am with HR that know that locals have the highest priority, but since you mentioned that you plan to beef the team up, and since you postponed your decision in my application until you and see what will happens over the next few weeks, I apprediate your keeping me in mind.believe that your decision and ongoing support are still needed to align with HR to get an exception for me to join the team as an expat."

    Thanks,

    EE
    Less is more. Business people hate long letters and memos. It will make you look unprofessional.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  3. #13
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
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    Re: Where the things stuck?

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    Who is Karen?
    Yes. Tell us more,Eco!
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  4. #14
    Economist2010's Avatar
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    Re: Where the things stuck?

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    Who is Karen?
    It is by mistake.

  5. #15
    Economist2010's Avatar
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    Re: Where the things stuck?

    Quote Originally Posted by Charlie Bernstein View Post
    Less is more. Business people hate long letters and memos. It will make you look unprofessional.
    I agree with you that some managers don't like long emails, however all managers like eloquent e-mails. Believe me it always works.

  6. #16
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
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    Re: Where the things stuck?

    Quote Originally Posted by Economist2010 View Post
    I agree with you that some managers don't like long emails. However, all managers like eloquent e-mails. Believe me, it always works.
    Of course well-written is important. But eloquent does not mean long.

    It also does not mean wordy, repetitious, obsequious, or inattentive.

    I've been a manager and have known many managers. Managers like pithy.

    Say hi to Karen for me!
    Last edited by Charlie Bernstein; 18-Mar-2021 at 17:53.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  7. #17
    Tarheel's Avatar
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    Re: Where the things stuck?

    [A]ll managers like eloquent emails.

    But you're not there yet (assuming that's true).
    Not a professional teacher

  8. #18
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Re: Where the things stuck?

    Quote Originally Posted by Economist2010 View Post
    I agree with you that some managers don't like long emails, however all managers like eloquent e-mails. Believe me it always works.
    Can you show that unequivocally?

  9. #19
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
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    Re: Where the things stuck?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    [A]ll managers like eloquent emails.

    But you're not there yet (assuming that's true).
    That's why he asks us to fix them.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  10. #20
    Tarheel's Avatar
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    Re: Where the things stuck?

    Quote Originally Posted by Charlie Bernstein View Post
    That's why he asks us to fix them.
    Of course! But in my humble opinion you should attain fluency before you set your sights on eloquence. (You have to walk before you can run.)
    Not a professional teacher

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