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  1. #1
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    I kept driving through the road until it began to climb steeply upwards.

    Is this correct and natural?

    I kept driving through the road until it began to climb steeply upwards. The steep uphill road led me to a vast plateau surrounded by low, flat-topped mountains which had a reddish brown color. The otherworldly screams of an animal caught my attention. I stopped the car and got out, seeing a black horse standing next to a tree. The mare tilted her head and neighed into the sky, her tail lashing the air. She lifted her two front foot in the air, put them down. She then stomped off towards a lake that kissed the edges of a low mountain range. I looked at her for a few seconds before she disappeared into the haze at the edge of the horizon.

  2. #2
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
    Charlie Bernstein is offline VIP Member
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    Re: I kept driving through the road until it began to climb steeply upwards.

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    Is this correct and natural?

    I kept driving through the road until. The road began to climb steeply upwards. [We don't say "through the road." Saying "until" would mean you stopped driving when the road got steep.] It led me to a vast plateau surrounded by low, flat-topped mountains which had a reddish brown color. [Too much information.] The otherworldly screams of an animal caught my attention. I stopped the car and got out, seeing a black horse standing next to a tree. [I'd switch the order of those two phrases: First you saw the horse, then you stopped and got out.] The mare tilted her head and winnied into the sky, her tail lashing the air. She lifted her two front hooves in the air, put them down. She then stomped off towards a lake that kissed the edges of a low mountain range. I looked at her for a few seconds before she disappeared into the haze at the edge of the horizon.
    The verb for when a horse lifts its two front hooves is rear (or rear up).

    It's an odd word, since the horse's rear stays down!

    Last edited by Charlie Bernstein; 23-Mar-2021 at 19:22.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

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