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  1. #1
    rodgers white is offline Senior Member
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    ... head cradled in...

    Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.

    ************************************************** **************************************************
    Gan, his family, and his people prospered, merging with the people of the Jade Valley completely, leaving behind a legacy of knowledge, such as engineering, advanced (for the time) ceramics, metal-smithing, astronomy, paper making, writing, etc. Most of the knowledge was lost over time; some was passed down and some eventually passed beyond the valley as the people spread out. Thousands of years later, much of their legacy re-emerged, and who knows, it may have been reinvented, rediscovered, or maybe, just maybe, some of it lasted through time to become part of Chinese history.

    As for Moogh, a once wild animal that became part of a family so much so that he was called uncle, he lived a much longer life than any other moose before or since. He died of old age with his family all about him, his large head cradled in Yang’s lap. It’s not the end of the story, much more was passed down through the family. This part I have described to you is the best part, but who knows what the future may add to it.

    I am Debra (Meili) Wang, Yang’s cousin, and tomorrow is my seven thousand one hundred and seventy-fourth birthday.
    Three passions have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.

  2. #2
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
    Charlie Bernstein is offline VIP Member
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    Re: ... head cradled in...

    Quote Originally Posted by rodgers white View Post
    Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.

    ************************************************** **************************************************
    Gan, his family, and his people prospered, merging with the people of the Jade Valley completely, leaving behind a legacy of knowledge, such as engineering, advanced (for the time) ceramics, metal-smithing, astronomy, paper making, writing, etc. Most of the knowledge was lost over time; some was passed down and some eventually passed beyond the valley as the people spread out. Thousands of years later, much of their legacy re-emerged, and who knows, it may have been reinvented, rediscovered, or maybe, just maybe, some of it lasted through time to become part of Chinese history.

    You can probably think of something more interesting to say than etc. It sounds like a business letter.


    As for Moogh, a once wild animal that became part of a family so much so that he was called Uncle, he lived a much longer life than any other moose before or since. He died of old age with his family all about him, his large head cradled in Yang’s lap. It’s not the end of the story, much more was passed down through the family. This part I have described to you is the best part, but who knows what the future may add to it.

    I am Debra (Meili) Wang, Yang’s cousin, and tomorrow is my seven thousand one hundred and seventy-fourth birthday.
    Happy birthday!
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

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