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  1. #1
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Patrick opened the door and walked inside

    Is this correct and natural?

    Patrick opened the door and walked inside the villa screened by tall trees. He walked past the lush trees to see a vast expanse of barren land to the east of the villa. The soil was cracked and it looked like it'd been plowed a long time ago, dry furrows running vertically along its length. Patrick sat by one of the furrows, enjoying the sun on his skin. A black insect was crawling in the furrow, its feelers moving. Patrick heard an engine come to life in the distant and a few minutes later saw water flowing slowly alongside the channels, shimmering in the sun. The black insect was taken by the water, trying to keep itself afloat, flailing helplessly. After a few minutes, it succumbed to water, plunging in the small stream.

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: Patrick opened the door and walked inside

    He entered the villa and walked past lush trees? I don't understand. Who has lush trees growing inside their villa?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. #3
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: Patrick opened the door and walked inside

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    He entered the villa and walked past lush trees? I don't understand. Who has lush trees growing inside their villa?
    In my language, we call the entire area and the garden a villa.

    Longman says this:

    https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/villa
    a big house in the country with a large garden

    But you are right, in English it doesn't work. So, do I say entered the villa's yard?

  4. #4
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: Patrick opened the door and walked inside

    What's wrong with "garden"?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  5. #5
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: Patrick opened the door and walked inside

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    What's wrong with "garden"?

    Okay.

    Is this correct and natural?

    Patrick opened the door and walked inside the garden surrounding the villa. He walked past the lush trees to see a vast expanse of barren land to the east of the villa. The soil was cracked and it looked like it'd been plowed a long time ago, dry furrows running vertically along its length. Patrick sat by one of the furrows, enjoying the sun on his skin. A black insect was crawling in the furrow, its feelers moving. Patrick heard an engine come to life in the distant and a few minutes later saw water flowing slowly alongside the channels, shimmering in the sun. The black insect was taken by the water, trying to keep itself afloat, flailing helplessly. After a few minutes, it succumbed to water, plunging in the small stream.

  6. #6
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: Patrick opened the door and walked inside

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    Okay.

    Is this correct and natural?

    Patrick opened the door and walked inside into the garden surrounding the villa. He walked past passed the lush trees to see and saw a vast expanse of barren land to the east of the villa. The soil was cracked and it looked like it'd it had been plowed a long time ago, dry furrows running vertically along its length.

    Something's missing here. In the first part, he could only see this expanse of barren land. Suddenly, he's sitting on it!

    Patrick sat by one of the furrows, enjoying the sun on his skin. A black insect was crawling in along the furrow, its feelers moving. Patrick heard an engine come to life in the distance and a few minutes later saw water flowing started flowing slowly alongside the channels, shimmering in the sun. The black insect was taken by the water, trying to keep itself afloat, flailing helplessly. After a few minutes, it succumbed to the water, plunging into the small stream. (What stream? You haven't mentioned there being a stream anywhere.)
    See above. Poor little insect!

    What has the engine got to do with water starting to flow?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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