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  1. #1
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Jimmy carried on as if everything were normal.

    Is this correct and natural?

    Jimmy carried on as if everything were normal. He kicked down all those fears and doubts like he was trying to push more dirty clothes inside a washing a machine than it could take. A part of him actually believed that beyond all that suffering and misery, a decent life, a happy one, awaited him. A more rational part knew that things were gonna get worse before they got even worse. The despair and fear he tried to push down kept crawling back up preventing him from focusing on his job.

  2. #2
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
    Charlie Bernstein is offline VIP Member
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    Re: Jimmy carried on as if everything were normal.

    More likely than kicked back:

    - swallowed
    - choked back
    - choke down

    Gonna is natural in informal speech but not in writing. Use going to. The only exceptions are in texting and song writing.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  3. #3
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: Jimmy carried on as if everything were normal.

    "kicked down" certainly doesn't work in this context. You can kick down a wall but not fears and doubts.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  4. #4
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: Jimmy carried on as if everything were normal.

    So, does "choke down" work instead of kick down?

    Jimmy carried on as if everything were normal. He choked down all those fears and doubts like he was trying to push more dirty clothes inside a washing a machine than it could take. A part of him actually believed that beyond all that suffering and misery, a decent life, a happy one, awaited him. A more rational part knew that things were going to get worse before they got even worse. The despair and fear he tried to push down kept crawling back up preventing him from focusing on his job.

  5. #5
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: Jimmy carried on as if everything were normal.

    Well, yes and no. On its own, it kind of works but it doesn't fit with the idea of forcing too many clothes into a washing machine. Generally, in the UK, washing machines are loaded via a door at the front so anything with "down" sounds odd, because you force clothes into those machines. However, a lot of American washing machines load via a door/hatch on the top, so it might work there.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  6. #6
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: Jimmy carried on as if everything were normal.

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    Well, yes and no. On its own, it kind of works but it doesn't fit with the idea of forcing too many clothes into a washing machine. Generally, in the UK, washing machines are loaded via a door at the front so anything with "down" sounds odd, because you force clothes into those machines. However, a lot of American washing machines load via a door/hatch on the top, so it might work there.

    What verb do you suggest I use that would work in that sentence?

  7. #7
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: Jimmy carried on as if everything were normal.

    I'm struggling to think of anything but that's mainly because I'm finding it hard to connect doing anything to one's fears and doubts to forcing clothes into a washing machine. I don't think the analogy works.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  8. #8
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: Jimmy carried on as if everything were normal.

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    I'm struggling to think of anything but that's mainly because I'm finding it hard to connect doing anything to one's fears and doubts to forcing clothes into a washing machine. I don't think the analogy works.
    So I will omit that washing machine part.

    Is this better?

    Jimmy carried on as if everything were normal. He bottled up all those fears and doubts, wondering when the bottle was going to shatter. A part of him actually believed that beyond all that suffering and misery, a decent life, a happy one, awaited him. A more rational part knew that things were going to get worse before they got even worse. The despair and fear he tried to push down kept crawling back up preventing him from focusing on his job.

  9. #9
    Tarheel's Avatar
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    Re: Jimmy carried on as if everything were normal.

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    Is this correct and natural?

    Jimmy carried on as if everything was normal. He pushed down all those fears and doubts like he was trying to stuff more dirty clothes inside a washing a machine than it could take. A part of him actually believed that beyond all that suffering and misery, a decent life, a happy one, awaited him. A more rational part knew that things were going to get worse before they got still worse. The despair and fear he tried to push down kept crawling back up preventing him from focusing on his job.
    My suggestions.
    Not a professional teacher

  10. #10
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: Jimmy carried on as if everything were normal.

    Thanks. I also want to see if this is okay:

    Jimmy carried on as if everything were normal. He bottled up all those fears and doubts, wondering when the bottle was going to shatter. A part of him actually believed that beyond all that suffering and misery, a decent life, a happy one, awaited him. A more rational part knew that things were going to get worse before they got even worse. The despair and fear he tried to push down kept crawling back up preventing him from focusing on his job.

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