[General] Our Long Call

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Economist2010

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Hello all,

I appreciate your help regarding the below e-mail.

"In our long call, we agreed on things and we had different point of view regarding other things and it end up without bringing my talent to the bank.

Although we previously had different point of views, I think now we will agree with each other on what benefits the bank and what makes it progress. It is in your interest that you get the number of the bank doubled, and it is in my interest that I prove myself as a high calibre. And both interests are in interest of the bank.

In the course of that, I bet that in a record time, I will make a success story for the bank will be written hand in hand by my experience and by your support.

I am a man of numbers so let the numbers say its word in my case whether or not I am capable or not. This is only made possible by giving me a chance to join the bank, lead a team, and over achieve the targets.

In the interest of the bank, we should cooperate together and forget any earlier difference in our point of views."
 

tedmc

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What is the purpose of the letter? If it is meant to be follow-up on your job application which was rejected, I think it is a futile exercise.
 

Tarheel

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Economist2010, you have a history of ignoring suggestions, corrections, and advice. Why should anybody bother?
 

Economist2010

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What is the purpose of the letter? If it is meant to be follow-up on your job application which was rejected, I think it is a futile exercise.

The purpose is to find another way to join this bank and to renew my application once again.

All management were enthusiastic about me except someone who didn't like that management supports me. Now, I am sending to him to forget any dispute.
 

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There's none so deaf as those who will not hear.
 

Economist2010

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Economist2010, you have a history of ignoring suggestions, corrections, and advice. Why should anybody bother?

No Tarheel, I accept all suggestions but take what is suitable for the case. I am rhe one who knows the situation and the circumstances of each case and its details.

For corrections, I welcome all of your corrections. Examples are as follows:

-I started to write "Hi all" instead of "Hi All" which was wrong.
- I started to put "." at the end of each sentence.
- I started to write " my English to improve" instead of "my English got improved".
 

Charlie Bernstein

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The purpose is to find a way to get a job at the bank [STRIKE]and to renew my application once again[/STRIKE].

It's wordy and redundant. Pick one:

- get a job at the bank.
- renew my application.
- apply again.


Everyone in management was enthusiastic about my application except one person who didn't like that the others supported me.

Now[STRIKE],[/STRIKE] I am writing to him to ask him to forget thedispute.
I don't know what device you're reading this on. Can you see the blue and red letters? Can you see the bold words? Can you see the strikethroughs?
 
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Charlie Bernstein

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No Tarheel, I accept all suggestions but take what is suitable for the case. I am the one who knows the situation and the circumstances of each case and its details.

[STRIKE]For corrections,[/STRIKE] I welcome all of your corrections. Examples are as follows:

-I started to write "Hi all" instead of "Hi All," which was wrong.

Both are wrong. Use Hi or Hi, all.


- I started to put "." at the beginning and end of each sentence.

- I started to write " my English to improve" instead of "my English [STRIKE]got[/STRIKE] improved".

Both were wrong. I corrected one.
The note is much too long and wordy for a business letter. So, as I've suggested before, tell us more about your long phone call. When did you have it? Whom did you talk with? Does he work there now? What did you talk about? Did you resolve your differences? Does he want to? How did it end?

Remember: Context matters! If we know more, we can help with tightening and correcting the letter.
 
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5jj

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Do you put a full stop (period at the beginning of sentences, Charlie? You must be the only person who does,
 

Economist2010

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The note is much too long and wordy for a business letter. So, as I've suggested before, tell us more about your long phone call. When did you have it? Whom did you talk with? Does he work there now? What did you talk about? Did you resolve your differences? Does he want to? How did it end?

Remember: Context matters! If we know more, we can help with tightening and correcting the letter.

I had the call 5 months ago.
I talked to the head of the department that I was going to join.
Yes, he still works there now.
He called me to blame me that I put the CEO in the company. I told him that it happened because he is following my case. He also tried to make me disappointed and started to play office politics with me.

I said "different point of views" instead of using "disputes".

He should accept what I offer as at the end it is in the interest of the bank that he works for
 

5jj

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He should accept what I offer as at the end it is in the interest of the bank that he works for
He must be an idiot if he doesn't realise that. Do you want to work for an idiot?
 

probus

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Most people who work for banks appear to be idiots. Banks themselves are largely to blame because they deny all autonomy and responsibility to most of their staff. My father taught me: "You'll go a long way up the hierarchy of a bank before you meet the first person with a brain." In my experience, even vice-president is not high enough.
 

Charlie Bernstein

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Do you put a full stop (period at the beginning of sentences, Charlie? You must be the only person who does,
Oops. I thought the comment was about his quotation marks. I remove them from his texts whenever he's not quoting someone — like, for instance, in "."

Eco, never mind!
 

Charlie Bernstein

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I had the call 5 months ago.
I talked to the head of the department that I was going to join.
Yes, he still works there now.
He called me to blame me for putting the former CEO in the converstion.

That's true. As we've said in other threads, that was poor etiquette. Did you apologize when you talked with him?


I told him that it happened because he is following my case. He also tried to discourage me and started to play office politics with me.

That means he still doesn't want to hire you.


I said "different point of views" instead of using "disputes".
He should accept my offer, as [STRIKE]at the end[/STRIKE] it is in the interest of the bank that he works for.
Then it doesn't sound like the call patched things up. So the email you want to send will just make him feel he made the right decision.

We call it throwing gasoline on the fire.
 

Charlie Bernstein

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He must be an idiot if he doesn't realise that. Do you want to work for an idiot?
That's true, Eco. He doesn't deserve you. Go where you're appreciated.

And don't use the former CEO as a reference!
 

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Charlie, you have endless patience.
 

Tarheel

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different points of view

Applicant: I want you to hire me.
Employer: I don't want to hire you.
Applicant: We have different points of view on that.
Employer: We certainly do.
Applicant: Can I get you to change your mind?
Employer: No, you can't. Besides, you used that phrase wrongly.
Applicant: What do you mean?
Employer: Two people in different positions inevitably have different points of view. That doesn't mean they can't come to an agreement. But we didn't. We disagree.
Applicant: How so?
Employer: You want me to do something I don't want to do. You want me to hire you, but I don't want to do that. That's a disagreement.
Applicant: Thank you for pointing that out.
Employer: You're welcome. One more thing.
Applicant: What's that?
Employer: Please go away.
 

Charlie Bernstein

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different points of view

Applicant: I want you to hire me.
Employer: I don't want to hire you.
Applicant: We have different points of view on that.
Employer: We certainly do.
Applicant: Can I get you to change your mind?
Employer: No, you can't. Besides, you used that phrase wrongly.
Applicant: What do you mean?
Employer: Two people in different positions inevitably have different points of view. That doesn't mean they can't come to an agreement. But we didn't. We disagree.
Applicant: How so?
Employer: You want me to do something I don't want to do. You want me to hire you, but I don't want to do that. That's a disagreement.
Applicant: Thank you for pointing that out.
Employer: You're welcome. One more thing.
Applicant: What's that?
Employer: Please go away.
My first chuckle of the day. Thanks!

Eco, do you see now why "different points of view" is incorrect?
 
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