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  1. #1
    rodgers white is offline Senior Member
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    Wormhole 003

    Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.
    ************************************************** **************************************************

    Constructing two new larger versions of his Wormhole ring was not so straightforward, not so much because of the cost, but because some of the materials needed for the superconductor compound might attract unwanted attention. One example: the estimated fifty kilos of gold the devices required. Nothing he needed was dangerous or illegal, but a few things were rare and expensive, and because of the quantities he needed, more than a tad eyebrow-raising.

    The reason for constructing two rings was just in case he screwed up and needed a backup to continue his work. Six months later, he had built the individual pieces and was ready to assemble them. He was nervous with anticipation and had to periodically pace the laboratory floor to walk off his nervous energy.

    Finally, the new two-meter device stood on its platform, finished. Only waiting for the computer and power connections to be attached. When the moment finally came, Dylan clicked on the activation button. The wormhole formed as expected; an approximately four-hundred-millimetre vortex opened, but 3.9 seconds later, it closed. “Bugger”, said Dylan, and turned to the new probes on the bench and began a final check of their systems.
    Three passions have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.

  2. #2
    rodgers white is offline Senior Member
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    Re: Wormhole 003

    The part following the Wormhol 003:

    All the probes were 300mm diameter spheres with sensors set in and about its outer shell. Dylan placed one of the probes on what he called the injector, a device that would inject the probe into the wormhole within a microsecond of its opening.

    The exit side of the wormhole was set to open at a 15 metre distance, the minimum he could achieve with the larger device. It came through the wormhole 2.3 seconds later and shut down exactly 3.9 seconds after activation. The probe had been sent through at a velocity of 3 meters per second and would have taken 5 seconds to complete the 15 metre distance normally.

    Dylan’s nervous excitement rose like bubbes in a glass of freshly poured Champaign so he paced the floor as usual to calm himself. This was either time dilation or whatever space the wormhole travelled through had a different relationship with time.
    Three passions have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.

  3. #3
    Tarheel's Avatar
    Tarheel is online now VIP Member
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    Re: Wormhole 003

    Looks good!

    How can he afford 50 kilos of gold?
    Not a professional teacher

  4. #4
    Glizdka is offline Senior Member
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    Re: Wormhole 003

    Not a teacher
    ------


    The guy can spawn wormholes. I'm sure he can also transmute lead into gold.

    It's a pretty enjoyable to read piece of writing.

    You might want to take more care of this part, though.
    Quote Originally Posted by rodgers white View Post
    This was either time dilation or whatever space the wormhole travelled through had a different relationship with time.
    I'm not familiar with how the device works, but if I assume it just spawns an entrance wormhole and an exit wormhole in target locations, rather than shooting a wormhole that freezes in one place after traveling set distance, this part doesn't make much sense.

    The wormhole didn't travel anywhere; it just opened. The only thing that traveled was the probe. If my assumption is correct, this should be more logical:
    Quote Originally Posted by rodgers white View Post
    This was either time dilation or whatever space the wormhole probe travelled through inside the wormhole had a different relationship with time.
    Last edited by Glizdka; 09-Apr-2021 at 23:12.

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