[Essay] Wormhole 004

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rodgers white

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Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.
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When watching the probe entering the wormhole, it was like seeing a ball falling into a horizontal funnel; and then exiting out of a similar one. But from the probe’s perspective, the long tunnel that one may have imagined it moving through didn’t exist. The cameras were positioned evenly about the probe’s surface, and when played back simultaneously, they showed it entering and exiting at the same time as though walking through a circular doorway in a paper-thin wall. Dylan remarked. “So ends the waterslide-like ride depicted in Sci-Fi movies. Well, at least when crossing a 15-metre-distance. I need more.”

Dylan decided to increase the exit distance to a small shed nine kilometres away on the other side of his property. It was time to leave the confines of his lab. His property was a ten-kilometre by fifteen-kilometre piece of desert that he originally bought for his astronomy hobby. Dylan cleared out the shed and prepared it with cameras and so on. Just as he was sending a probe through, his daughter came in. “Hey, Dad. I brought you some lunch, so you don’t starve.” The probe vanished.
 
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tedmc

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Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.
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When watching (who was watching?) the probe entering the wormhole, it was like seeing a ball falling into a horizontal funnel (1), and then exiting out of a similar one. But from the probe’s perspective, the long tunnel that one may have imagined [STRIKE]it[/STRIKE] moving through didn’t exist. The cameras were positioned [STRIKE]evenly[/STRIKE] at regular intervals [STRIKE]about[/STRIKE] over the probe’s surface, and when played back simultaneously, they showed it as entering and exiting at the same time as though walking through a circular doorway[STRIKE] in[/STRIKE] through a paper-thin wall. Dylan remarked. “So ends the waterslide-like ride depicted in sci-fi movies. Well, at least when crossing a 15-metre (no dash) distance. I need more.”

Dylan decided to increase the exit distance to a small shed nine kilometres away on the other side of his property. It was time to leave the confines of his lab. His property was a ten-kilometre by fifteen-kilometre piece of desert that he originally bought for his astronomy hobby. Dylan cleared out the shed and prepared it with cameras and so on. Just as he was sending a probe through, his daughter came in. “Hey, Dad. I brought you some lunch, so you don’t starve.” The probe vanished.

(1) Things fall vertically due to gravity. How can a ball "fall horizontally"? It probably rolls horizontally.
 
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