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  1. #1
    rodgers white is offline Senior Member
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    Wormhole 004

    Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.
    ************************************************** ************************************************** ***

    When watching the probe entering the wormhole, it was like seeing a ball falling into a horizontal funnel; and then exiting out of a similar one. But from the probe’s perspective, the long tunnel that one may have imagined it moving through didn’t exist. The cameras were positioned evenly about the probe’s surface, and when played back simultaneously, they showed it entering and exiting at the same time as though walking through a circular doorway in a paper-thin wall. Dylan remarked. “So ends the waterslide-like ride depicted in Sci-Fi movies. Well, at least when crossing a 15-metre-distance. I need more.”

    Dylan decided to increase the exit distance to a small shed nine kilometres away on the other side of his property. It was time to leave the confines of his lab. His property was a ten-kilometre by fifteen-kilometre piece of desert that he originally bought for his astronomy hobby. Dylan cleared out the shed and prepared it with cameras and so on. Just as he was sending a probe through, his daughter came in. “Hey, Dad. I brought you some lunch, so you don’t starve.” The probe vanished.
    Last edited by rodgers white; 12-Apr-2021 at 12:33.
    Three passions have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.

  2. #2
    tedmc is offline VIP Member
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    Re: Wormhole 004

    Quote Originally Posted by rodgers white View Post
    Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.
    ************************************************** ************************************************** ***

    When watching (who was watching?) the probe entering the wormhole, it was like seeing a ball falling into a horizontal funnel(1),and then exiting out of a similar one. But from the probe’s perspective, the long tunnel that one may have imagined it moving through didn’t exist. The cameras were positioned evenly at regular intervals about over the probe’s surface, and when played back simultaneously, they showed it as entering and exiting at the same time as though walking through a circular doorway in through a paper-thin wall. Dylan remarked. “So ends the waterslide-like ride depicted in sci-fi movies. Well, at least when crossing a 15-metre (no dash) distance. I need more.”

    Dylan decided to increase the exit distance to a small shed nine kilometres away on the other side of his property. It was time to leave the confines of his lab. His property was a ten-kilometre by fifteen-kilometre piece of desert that he originally bought for his astronomy hobby. Dylan cleared out the shed and prepared it with cameras and so on. Just as he was sending a probe through, his daughter came in. “Hey, Dad. I brought you some lunch, so you don’t starve.” The probe vanished.
    (1) Things fall vertically due to gravity. How can a ball "fall horizontally"? It probably rolls horizontally.
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

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