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  1. #1
    shb1472 is offline Newbie
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    Post PLZ check my cover letter.

    hello,
    I am from Korea and I am applying for P&G Brand Management Intern.

    I would really appreciate if you took a look to my cover letter and made the corrections that are needed.


    thank you in advance


    best regards

    m.d
    here is my cover letter:

    Dear. Recruiting Team

    I was excited of the position as P&G brand management intern since I got huge inspiration from when I watched ‘Dove Real Beauty Sketches’. majoring culture contents, I just realized that I have to be in there to make the project more efficient. alreay I am ready for qualifications you want.

    first. I learned deeply how a brand goes from these classes of ‘Content & Brand’, ‘English Content Practice’,‘Contents Marketing’ at Ajou university. and after graduation, I worked on marketing stragy and campaign in offline at Adidas Gangnam Brand Center.

    Second. I can derive insights from the data. I went to an Apprenticeship camp
    about performance marketer for 5 weeks. the mentor who works as a performance marketer share the mission and data to sold out with. using my excel skill, I figured out what the weakness is and how to increase the income in next campagn.

    third. I was winner of global advertisment competition called Gatsby Creative Awards. my role of the project was stoty developing and cooperate with contractors who got involved in as editor, owner of locaation. I was taught how to cooperate with and pour my creativity in to a contents by this experience,

    Thank you for your time in considering me for the brand management intern position. I would be happy to chat more about my experiences and skills. Please feel free to contact me via phone or email.

    Thank you,
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 02-May-2021 at 18:52. Reason: Fixed font size; Removed "urgency" implication from title

  2. #2
    teechar's Avatar
    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: PLZ check my cover letter.

    Quote Originally Posted by shb1472 View Post
    Hello,
    I am from Korea, and I am applying for a P&G Brand Management Internship position.
    I would really appreciate it if you took a look to at my cover letter and made the corrections that are needed.
    Thank you in advance.
    Best regards.

    M.D.
    Here is my cover letter:
    Hello, and welcome to the forum.
    1- How many words are you expected to write (is there a word limit)?
    2- What areas/topics are you expected to cover in your letter?
    3- What is the application deadline?

    Quote Originally Posted by shb1472 View Post
    Dear. Recruiting Team

    I was excited of the position as P&G brand management intern since I got huge inspiration from when I watched ‘Dove Real Beauty Sketches’. majoring culture contents, I just realized that I have to be in there to make the project more efficient. [ 1] alreay I am ready for qualifications you want. [ 2]

    first. I learned deeply how a brand goes from these classes of ‘Content & Brand’, ‘English Content Practice’,‘Contents Marketing’ at Ajou university. and after graduation, I worked on marketing stragy and campaign in offline at Adidas Gangnam Brand Center.

    Second. I can derive insights from the data. I went to an Apprenticeship camp about performance marketer for 5 weeks [ 3]. the mentor who works as a performance marketer share the mission and data to sold out with. using my excel skill, I figured out what the weakness is and how to increase the income in next campagn.

    third. I was winner of global advertisment competition called Gatsby Creative Awards [ 3]. my role of the project was stoty developing and cooperate with contractors who got involved in as editor, owner of locaation. I was taught how to cooperate with and pour my creativity in to a contents by this experience,

    Thank you for your time in considering me for the brand management intern position. I would be happy to chat more about my experiences and skills. Please feel free to contact me via phone or email.

    Thank you,
    I do not understand the parts highlighted in blue. You need to clarify them.
    [ 1]: What project are you talking about?
    [ 2]: Can you give details of how those qualifications match the required criteria.
    [ 3]: Can you give details please - dates, place names, etc?
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 02-May-2021 at 18:52. Reason: Made title match new original

  3. #3
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
    Charlie Bernstein is offline VIP Member
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    Re: PLZ check my cover letter.

    Always, always, ALWAYS capitalize the first letter of each sentence. There are no exceptions.
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 02-May-2021 at 18:52. Reason: Made title match new original
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

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