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  1. #1
    rodgers white is offline Senior Member
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    Wormhole 015

    Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.

    ************************************************** *************************************************

    “A vacuum,” Dylan had told his daughter “is just begging to be filled, but gravity keeps space mostly empty by drawing the matter to itself. Exotic matter, whatever it is and wherever it comes from, continually seeps in, the particles annihilating one another almost instantly.”

    Penny understood. “So that’s why you keep it flowing into the wormhole. But, if we only emit one kind into the wormhole, it could stay open forever, whether we want it to or not.”

    Dylan clapped his hands. “Yes, so we will have to emit at least one more type that will destroy the one we want at a rate that keeps the wormhole open until we decide to close it.”

    Penny’s mind saw it as her father explained it, and Dylan saw the comprehension in her eyes. Penny said, “We will have to be extremely careful with the design. Otherwise, KABOOM!”

    Dylan grimaced. “Yes, indeed, KABOOM. The safety margin will have to be even broader than it is now.”

    Penny had deferred her University studies despite her father’s wishes to the contrary.They didn’t speak about it. Dylan conceded that it was her choice, and Penny didn’t want to evoke his disappointment. Penny wasn’t worried about his anger, which was something he rarely expressed. So rarely, in fact, she couldn’t be sure if it actually existed, but she knew it must. He was human, after all.
    Three passions have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.

  2. #2
    Tarheel's Avatar
    Tarheel is offline VIP Member
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    Re: Wormhole 015

    Quote Originally Posted by rodgers white View Post
    Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.

    ************************************************** *************************************************

    “A vacuum,” Dylan had told his daughter “is just begging to be filled, but gravity keeps space mostly empty by drawing the matter to itself. Exotic matter, whatever it is and wherever it comes from, continually seeps in, the particles annihilating one another almost instantly.”

    Penny understood. “So that’s why you keep it flowing into the wormhole. But, if we only emit one kind into the wormhole, it could stay open forever, whether we want it to or not.”

    Dylan clapped his hands. “Yes, so we will have to emit at least one more type that will destroy the one we want at a rate that keeps the wormhole open until we decide to close it.”

    Penny’s mind saw it as her father explained it, and Dylan saw the comprehension in her eyes.

    I don't like it when you detach people from themselves that way. Perhaps:

    Penny grasped it as soon as her father explained it ....

    Or:

    Penny grasped it immediately ....


    Penny said, “We will have to be extremely careful with the design. Otherwise, KABOOM!”

    Dylan grimaced. “Yes, indeed, KABOOM. The safety margin will have to be even broader than it is now.”

    Penny had deferred her university studies despite her father’s wishes to the contrary.They didn’t speak about it. Dylan conceded that it was her choice, and Penny didn’t want to disappoint him. Penny wasn’t worried about his anger, which was something he rarely expressed. So rarely, in fact, she couldn’t be sure if it actually existed, but she knew it must. He was human, after all.
    If she didn't want to disappoint him wouldn't she continue with her studies?
    Last edited by Tarheel; 10-May-2021 at 21:35. Reason: Delete extra word
    Not a professional teacher

  3. #3
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Re: Wormhole 015

    Interesting that they could be on the verge of destroying the universe, but their relationship is still to the fore.

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