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  1. #1
    keannu's Avatar
    keannu is offline VIP Member
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    Application letter for a volunteer club.

    Title : Application letter for a volunteer club.
    ①Iím Jake Brown at Yellow Valley High School.
    ②Iím writing to ask if I can join the volunteer club.
    ③Before I entered Yellow Valley High School, a senior of my school recommended this club to me.
    ④What I want to do in the volunteer club is to help sick elderly people and pick up trash around the school.
    ⑤I also want to feel proud while volunteering.
    ⑥a. I'd like you to select me, then I will do my best
    b. I sincerely hope you can select/choose me, then I will do my best.

    ⑦I would appreciate your reply.
    ========================================
    Please understand some schools mark this kind of writing test based on each separate line.
    If you find something wrong, please correct them, especially the underlined parts. In 6, which one between a and b is better?

  2. #2
    Tarheel's Avatar
    Tarheel is offline VIP Member
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    Re: Application letter for a volunteer club.

    Quote Originally Posted by keannu View Post
    Title : Application letter for a volunteer club.
    ①Iím Jake Brown at Yellow Valley High School.
    ②Iím writing to ask if I can join the volunteer club.
    ③Before I entered Yellow Valley High School, a senior of my school recommended this club to me.

    a senior at my high school

    ④What I want to do in the volunteer club is to help sick elderly people and pick up trash around the school.

    Try:

    I want to help elderly or sick people. And I want to pick up trash and help keep the place clean.



    ⑤I also want to feel proud while volunteering.
    ⑥a. I'd like you to select me, then I will do my best
    b. I sincerely hope you can select/choose me, then I will do my best.

    ⑦I would appreciate your reply.

    Perhaps:

    I sincerely hope you pick me to be a member of the team.

    ========================================
    Please understand some schools mark this kind of writing test based on each separate line.
    If you find something wrong, please correct them, especially the underlined parts. In 6, which one between a and b is better?
    Can you just not decide between "select" and "choose"? Pick one!
    Not a professional teacher

  3. #3
    tedmc is online now VIP Member
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    Re: Application letter for a volunteer club.

    I sincerely hope you can select/choose me, then I will do my best.
    Isn't this a run-on sentence?
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

  4. #4
    Tarheel's Avatar
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    Re: Application letter for a volunteer club.

    I think I suggested an alternative to that (which says something in itself). In other words, yes.
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 10-May-2021 at 10:30. Reason: Fixed typo
    Not a professional teacher

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