Help me correct my english

[whatever2]

Hello everyone

I have just started working at a Turkish international school, and i need an advice to correct this letter i wrote. since i am new i do not want to make mistakes, though its common because here in Turkey, we do not study English in an advanced way.

On to the question: I am trying to explain that this student entered our school but he did not pass any of his courses. I wanted to include that he paid his fees for the school year, and that we offer him a 50% discount because of medical condition that he delivered doctor papers to us. Its just a confirmation letter. I will copy and past what i wrote and i appreciate any help and advice if there should be some changes

This letter is to confirm that Mr Bla Bla Bla, although attended his BA Global Management (Marketing) programme in the academic year 2020/21, failed to pass any of his program courses.

We also confirm that Mr Bla paid the full tuition fees of $21,000.00

Due to his previous medical condition that had an impact on his studies, we would like to offer Mr Bla 50% discount for the 2021/2 academic year.

Thanks in advance everyone

 

[teechar]

Who are you writing this letter to, and why are you writing it?

 

[whatever2]

I am writing it to a one of our earlier student. I think he wants a confirmation letter like this so that he can show it what he was doing that time.

 

[teechar]

Hello everyone,
I have just started working at a Turkish international school,

Do you mean at an international school in Turkey?

and I need [STRIKE]an[/STRIKE] advice

Please always capitalize the personal pronoun, and note that "advice" is never countable.

to correct this letter I wrote. Since I am new, I do not want to make mistakes, though it's common because here in Turkey, we do not study English [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] to an advanced level. [STRIKE]way.[/STRIKE]

On to the question: I am trying to explain that this student [STRIKE]entered[/STRIKE] was admitted to our school but he did not pass any of his courses. I wanted to include that he paid his fees for the school year, and that we are prepared/willing to offer him a 50% discount because of his medical condition, as outlined in the [STRIKE]that he delivered[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]doctor papers[/STRIKE] medical certificates provided to us. It's just a confirmation letter. I will copy and paste what I wrote. [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] I appreciate any help and advice if there [STRIKE]should be[/STRIKE] are some changes that need to be made. [STRIKE][/STRIKE]

This letter is to confirm that [STRIKE]Mr Bla Bla Bla,[/STRIKE] although Mr ... attended his BA Global Management (Marketing) programme in the academic year 2020/21, he failed to pass any of his [STRIKE]program[/STRIKE] courses.

We also confirm that Mr Bla had paid the full tuition fees of $21,000.

Due to his previous medical condition that had an impact on his studies, we would like to offer Mr Bla a 50% discount for the 2021/2 academic year.

Thanks in advance. [STRIKE]everyone[/STRIKE]

See above.

I am writing it to a one of our [STRIKE]earlier[/STRIKE] former students. I think he wants a confirmation letter like this so that he can show [STRIKE]it[/STRIKE] what he was doing at that time.