when feelings exist deep within a person

[alpacinou]

I want to express the idea that some feelings exist deep within a person.

Are these correct and natural?

1. Alice did her best to enjoy her time with her family. She was as happy as she knew how to be but depression was lurking deep in her psyche, waiting to well up and stifle her joy.

2. John went about doing his business, trying his best to forget the car accident that led to the death of his best friend but a part of him knew the accident was his fault. Guilt was prowling in the innermost recesses of his mind, waiting to jump at him and strangle him.

How can I make them better?

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

I want to express the idea that some feelings exist deep within a person.

Are these correct and natural?

1. Alice did her best to enjoy her time with her family. She was as happy as she knew how to be but depression was lurking deep in her psyche, waiting to well up and stifle her joy.

2. John went about [STRIKE]doing[/STRIKE] his business, trying his best to forget the car accident that led to the death of his best friend but a part of him knew the accident was his fault. Guilt was prowling in the innermost recesses of his mind, waiting to jump at him and strangle him.

How can I make them better?

Both have compound sentences that need commas.

If you put those in, you're there!