[Cover Letter] Need Help for the Motivation Letter

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kaptansari

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Hello everyone , I would like to get your help and advice to correct the errors in this letter. Thank you so much.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to express my interest in applying for the M.Sc. program in [XXXX] at the [XXXX] starting October 2021. I do truly believe that my qualifications will fulfill the requirements of this program.

First, I would like to introduce myself. My name is [XXX]. I graduated from [XXX] in July 2020 and I have a bachelor’s degree in Electrical Electronics Engineering. I have been working in [XXX] for 10 months.

After my undergraduate education, my ambition is to get further education but due to pandemic conditions, I postponed my abroad master degree plans and found a job. Now, pandemic conditions are getting better so I strongly believe it is a correct time to take a break from my business career and get the education that I always wanted.

I chose the ‘Energy option’ as my core specialization in my undergraduate education. The courses that I took during my undergraduate education and also my final year project are completely related with these courses that will be given in this program. I would like to learn more about [XXX] and I believe this program offers best chances for me to improve myself.

In addition to my information which I have shared above, please consider my transcript and resume that I have uploaded for the application.

Thank you very much and I am looking forward to getting positive respond from you and be valuable addition in this program.

Sincerely,
 

teechar

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Hi,
1- Please use dummy names instead of XXX.
2- What is the submission deadline?
3- What is the word limit?
4- Which points/topics are you expected to cover in your letter?
 

kaptansari

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-Deadline is end of the June.
-There is no word limit so I prepared short letter.
-I will use this motivation letter for Master degree application.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to express my interest in applying for the M.Sc. program in Enginnering at the University starting October 2021. I do truly believe that my qualifications will fulfill the requirements of this program.

First, I would like to introduce myself. My name is kaptansari . I graduated from university in July 2020 and I have a bachelorÂ’s degree in Electrical Electronics Engineering. I have been working in company for 10 months.

After my undergraduate education, my ambition is to get further education but due to pandemic conditions, I postponed my abroad master degree plans and found a job. Now, pandemic conditions are getting better so I strongly believe it is a correct time to take a break from my business career and get the education that I always wanted.

I chose the ‘Energy option’ as my core specialization in my undergraduate education. The courses that I took during my undergraduate education and also my final year project are completely related with these courses that will be given in this program. I would like to learn more about engineering and I believe this program offers best chances for me to improve myself.

In addition to my information which I have shared above, please consider my transcript and resume that I have uploaded for the application.

Thank you very much and I am looking forward to getting positive respond from you and be valuable addition in this program.

Sincerely
 

emsr2d2

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- The deadline is end of the June.
- There is no word limit so I prepared a short letter.
- I will use this motivation letter [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] as part of my master's degree application.

Dear Sir or Madam,

[STRIKE]I am writing this letter to express my interest[/STRIKE]I am interested in applying for the M.Sc. program in Engineering, [strike]at the University[/strike] starting October 2021. I [STRIKE]do truly[/STRIKE] believe that my qualifications will fulfill the requirements of this program.

[STRIKE]First, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Kaptansari.[/STRIKE]

I graduated from
[name of university] in July 2020 [strike]and I have[/strike] with a bachelor's degree in Electrical Electronics Engineering. I have been working [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] at [name of company] for [STRIKE]10[/STRIKE] ten months.

[STRIKE]After my undergraduate education,[/STRIKE] Originally, my ambition [STRIKE]is[/STRIKE] was to [STRIKE]get further[/STRIKE] continue my education but due to the pandemic, [STRIKE]conditions,[/STRIKE] I postponed my plan to study abroad for a master's degree [strike]plans[/strike] and found a job. Now no comma herethat the pandemic [STRIKE]conditions are[/STRIKE] situation is getting better, [STRIKE]so[/STRIKE] I strongly believe it is [STRIKE]a correct[/STRIKE] the right time to take a break from my [STRIKE]business[/STRIKE] career and get the education that I always wanted.

I chose the "Energy option" as my core specialization [STRIKE]in my[/STRIKE] as an undergraduate. [STRIKE]education.[/STRIKE] The courses that I took [STRIKE]during my undergraduate education[/STRIKE] and [STRIKE]also[/STRIKE] my final year project are [STRIKE]completely[/STRIKE] closely related [STRIKE]with[/STRIKE] to [STRIKE]these[/STRIKE] the courses [STRIKE]that will be given in this program[/STRIKE] offered at your university. I would like to learn more about engineering and I believe this program offers the best [STRIKE]chances[/STRIKE] chance for me to [STRIKE]improve myself[/STRIKE] further my education in this field.

[STRIKE]In addition to my information which I have shared above, please consider[/STRIKE]I have uploaded my transcript and resumé [STRIKE]that I have uploaded for the[/STRIKE] to the application website.

Thank you very much and I am looking forward to getting a positive response from you and to being a valuable addition [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] to this program.

Yours sincerely

Please note my corrections and suggested changes above. Is Kaptansari your first name or your family name? (Note that I have removed that sentence anyway, but you should use your full name.)

In reality, I wouldn't use your final sentence and would simply stick with "I look forward to hearing from you".

I don't really know what you mean by "Energy option". Was that really the name of the specialty?
 

teechar

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Also,
I am writing [STRIKE]this letter[/STRIKE] to [STRIKE]express my interest in[/STRIKE] apply [STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] for the M.Sc. program in ...
and
I [STRIKE]do truly[/STRIKE] believe that my qualifications [STRIKE]will[/STRIKE] fulfill the requirements of this program.

Otherwise, see above.
 

kaptansari

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I don't really know what you mean by "Energy option". Was that really the name of the specialty?

We have 7 options which are ''telecommunication , energy, automation and control etc.' and each option has different lectures which gives more specific information about that field. So, should I explain like this in motivation letter too?
 

emsr2d2

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We [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] had [STRIKE]7[/STRIKE] seven options, three of which [STRIKE]are[/STRIKE] were ''Telecommunications, Energy, Automation and Control", and each option [STRIKE]has[/STRIKE] involved different lectures which [STRIKE]gives[/STRIKE] gave more specific information about that field. [STRIKE]So,[/STRIKE] Should I explain [STRIKE]like[/STRIKE] this in the motivation letter too?

No, definitely not! I think you just put the quotation marks in the wrong place. Perhaps you meant:

I chose the "Energy" option.
 
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