Diary entry - Today, I bought a watermelon home.

[Maybo]

This is an entry from my diary. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

Today, I bought a watermelon home. My mother saw that, and told me a story she had already repeated many times: When you were a child, I bought you a watermelon. After I cut it into pieces, you defended them with your arms surrounding them, and yelled, "They're all mine! They're all mine!". However, you got full after eating only a few, and said, "Mum, you eat some." My mum said that was funny. I don't remember that incident, but it could has happened, because I really loved watermelons. Now, I especially like to cut it into halves and eat it with a spoon.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

This is an entry from my diary. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

Today, I bought a watermelon home. My mother saw it, and told me a story she had already repeated many times: When you were a child, I bought you a watermelon. After I cut it into pieces, you defended them with your arms surrounding them, and yelled, "They're all mine! They're all mine!". However, you got full after eating only a few[STRIKE],[/STRIKE] and said, "Mum, you eat some." My mum said that was funny. I don't remember that incident, but it could has happened, because I really loved watermelons. Now, I especially like to cut it into halves and eat it with a spoon.

Good job!

 

[teechar]

Today, I bought a watermelon home.

That's wrong. You probably mean to write "brought". However, you can just say "Today, I bought a watermelon".

After I cut it into pieces,

You can also say "After I'd cut it into slices".

, but it could [STRIKE]has[/STRIKE] have happened,

Note the correction. We use the base form of the verb after a modal auxiliary.

Now, I especially like to cut [STRIKE]it[/STRIKE] a watermelon into halves and eat it with a spoon.

That first "it" doesn't work. In the previous sentence, you have the plural "watermelons". The second "it" works because it refers to the "a watermelon" (in red).