rodgers white
Senior Member
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2016
- Member Type
- English Teacher
- Native Language
- Chinese
- Home Country
- China
- Current Location
- China
Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.
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Penny opened the money-belt and pulled out the device her father had designed for just such a situation. Her father had attached a note to the device. The note said, “Remember, whatever you do, do not show this device or the one secreted in your journal to anyone. Don’t tell anyone about the wormhole. Keep as much as you can to yourself. I will find you!!! I love you, Penny, Dad”.
A rush of memories flooded Penny’s mind, and she briefly swooned, having been made dizzy by the inrush of information. “Oh my god, it actually happened”. Looking around, she now realised she was home, but the buildings she called home had not been built, not yet. Though, maybe the buildings had been demolished long ago. Penny decided to go with the idea of her being in the past for now. Sticking out in the past was most likely the most dangerous; everyone probably stuck out in the future.
Back in Dylan’s present; Dylan had narrowed down his daughter’s whenabouts to the past, somewhere between 1875 and 1900. Penny, being in the past, worried him most of all. Dylan knew a bit about people’s attitudes to women, and those attitudes were usually not positive for someone as outspoken as Penny, especially in the past. Penny would be the most educated and intelligent person on the planet, and she was not shy about her intelligence. Dylan prayed, not to god, but his daughter. “Please, Penny, please keep your opinions to yourself, and don’t attract any attention”.
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Penny opened the money-belt and pulled out the device her father had designed for just such a situation. Her father had attached a note to the device. The note said, “Remember, whatever you do, do not show this device or the one secreted in your journal to anyone. Don’t tell anyone about the wormhole. Keep as much as you can to yourself. I will find you!!! I love you, Penny, Dad”.
A rush of memories flooded Penny’s mind, and she briefly swooned, having been made dizzy by the inrush of information. “Oh my god, it actually happened”. Looking around, she now realised she was home, but the buildings she called home had not been built, not yet. Though, maybe the buildings had been demolished long ago. Penny decided to go with the idea of her being in the past for now. Sticking out in the past was most likely the most dangerous; everyone probably stuck out in the future.
Back in Dylan’s present; Dylan had narrowed down his daughter’s whenabouts to the past, somewhere between 1875 and 1900. Penny, being in the past, worried him most of all. Dylan knew a bit about people’s attitudes to women, and those attitudes were usually not positive for someone as outspoken as Penny, especially in the past. Penny would be the most educated and intelligent person on the planet, and she was not shy about her intelligence. Dylan prayed, not to god, but his daughter. “Please, Penny, please keep your opinions to yourself, and don’t attract any attention”.
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