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    • Join Date: Sep 2006
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    #1

    hello!! please help me! it's urgent..I gotta submit it in the morning!

    Please, proofread the short story below I have just written. I doubt that there are some grammar mistakes. And also see if the title I have given is appropriate.
    Thanks

    Two potatoes and a tomato

    There were two potatoes. The big potatoes said to the small one “ Kids eats me very eagerly” The little turtle asked “ How?”. He replied “I am eaten with rice and also savored as French fries” The said “So what?, I am also made into crispy chips” A tomato, standing nearby listening into the conversation, came to them, and said “ why are you fighting, chums?. You both can’t be eaten without my ketchup. So why to fight?. We somehow always need each other. And we all are equal in the eye of GOD”

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    • Join Date: Jul 2006
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    #2

    Re: hello!! please help me! it's urgent..I gotta submit it in the morning!

    Quote Originally Posted by asad hussain View Post
    Please, proofread the short story below I have just written. I doubt that there are some grammar mistakes. And also see if the title I have given is appropriate.
    Thanks

    Two potatoes and a tomato

    There were two potatoes. The big potato(es) said to the small one “ Kids eat(s) me very eagerly” The little turtle asked “ How?”. He replied “I am eaten with rice and also savored as French fries” The (?) said “So what?, I am also made into crispy chips” A tomato, (which was )standing nearby listening (in)to the conversation(,) came to them(,)and said “ why are you fighting, chums?. You both can’t be eaten without my ketchup. So why (to) fight?. We somehow always need each other. And we all are equal in the eye of GOD”

    I have put a parentheses where it should be changed...

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    #3

    Re: hello!! please help me! it's urgent..I gotta submit it in the morning!

    There were two potatoes.One was big and the other ,small.The big potato ( or the big one ) said to the small one:"kids eat me eagerly". the little potato asked:"how are you eaten?" and the big one said: I´m eaten with rice and also savored as French fries" The small one then said: " So what? I´m also made into crispy chips!" A tomato, which was standing nearby listening to the conversation, came to them and said" why are you fighting,chums?" You both can´t be eaten without my ketchup, so why fight?We somehow always need each other, and we are all equal in the eyes of God."

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    • Join Date: May 2005
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    #4

    Re: hello!! please help me! it's urgent..I gotta submit it in the morning!

    There were two potatoes, a big one and a small one. The big one said to the small one, "Kids eat me very eagerly." The little potato asked, "How are you eaten?" The big one replied, "I'm eaten with rice, and also enjoyed as french fries." The small one then said, "So what. I'm also made into crispy chips." A tomato, who was standing nearby listening to the conversation, came up to the potatoes and said, "Why are you fighting, chums? You both can't be eaten without my ketchup. So, why fight? We always need each other, and we are all equal in the eyes of God."

    Asad, please notice how I punctuated and used capitals in the quotations. You need more practice on that. So do you, Avalon.


    • Join Date: Sep 2006
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    #5

    Re: hello!! please help me! it's urgent..I gotta submit it in the morning!

    Thank you, Sir. Mykwyner!
    I really appreciate your help from the bottom of my heart.

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