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  1. Newbie
    Guest
    #1

    validate

    original:

    The IN service center consists of equipment such as the SCP, MRS, AS and AIP. By interconnecting with the SoftX3000 that is in the service switching center over INAP or SIP, the IN service center provides various IN services for subscribers of the entire network

    Suggested:

    The IN service center consists of equipment, such as the SCP, the MRS, the AS, and the AP.

    The IN service center provides various IN services for subscribers of the entire network by interconnecting with the SoftX3000, which is in the service switching center over INAP or SIP.

  2. RonBee's Avatar
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    #2

    Post Re: validate

    Quote Originally Posted by Newbie View Post
    original:

    The IN service center consists of equipment such as the SCP, MRS, AS and AIP. By interconnecting with the SoftX3000 that is in the service switching center over INAP or SIP, the IN service center provides various IN services for subscribers of the entire network

    Suggested:

    The IN service center consists of equipment, such as the SCP, the MRS, the AS, and the AP.

    The IN service center provides various IN services for subscribers of the entire network by interconnecting with the SoftX3000, which is in the service switching center over INAP or SIP.
    I agree with the changes to the first sentence. (Not knowing what SCP stands for, I don't know if you need the first the. However, if you keep it the other changes make sense.) I agree with the changes to the second sentence. I do not agree with separating the sentences and making two small paragraphs. That change is not necessary.

    ~R

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