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  1. Ksunya's Avatar

    • Join Date: Nov 2006
    • Posts: 39
    #1

    Post Can you correct this sentence too?;)

    Can I say about a tear in such a way? I mean, that it slides down a cheek.

    Her tranquility was deceptive. Nobody would have understood it, but for a treacherous tear,that sudenly slided down her cheek.

    And after reading this sentence several times, I have such a feeling, that something is wrong
    Last edited by Ksunya; 06-Dec-2006 at 09:37.


    • Join Date: Mar 2006
    • Posts: 671
    #2

    Re: Can you correct this sentence too?;)

    Quote Originally Posted by Ksunya View Post
    Can I say about a tear in such a way? I mean, that it slides down a cheek.

    Her tranquility was deceptive. Nobody would have understood it, but for a treacherous tear,that sudenly slided down her cheek.

    And after reading this sentence several times, I have such a feeling, that something is wrong
    "...that suddenly slid down her cheek." - no comma.

    Other than that, it's OK. I have a feeling that "Nobody would have understood it..." is probably not natural, but it depends upon the full context.

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