Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Polish
      • Home Country:
      • Poland
      • Current Location:
      • Poland

    • Join Date: Jan 2006
    • Posts: 2,081
    #1

    Question Margaret

    "Margaret would lie on a blanket on the grass, chuckling and try to catch her toes as she tried to kick them in the air."

    Had there been a comma after chuckling, not before, I would have understood it. Why it's like it is?

    Nyggus

  1. Miner49'er's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Dutch
      • Home Country:
      • Belgium
      • Current Location:
      • Belgium

    • Join Date: Nov 2006
    • Posts: 412
    #2

    Re: Margaret

    Hi nyggus

    "Margaret would lie on a blanket on the grass, chuckling and trying to catch her toes as she tried to kick them in the air."
    The baby lies on the grass while she's chuckling and trying to catch her toes.


    Or is Margaret not a baby anymore ?

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Polish
      • Home Country:
      • Poland
      • Current Location:
      • Poland

    • Join Date: Jan 2006
    • Posts: 2,081
    #3

    Re: Margaret

    Quote Originally Posted by Miner49'er View Post
    Hi nyggus


    The baby lies on the grass while she's chuckling and trying to catch her toes.


    Or is Margaret not a baby anymore ?
    The point is that this is the sentence from Jane Walsh and I am not trying to point out her or the editor's mistake. Instead of adding "ing", you can write "Margaret would lie on a blanket on the grass chuckling, and try to catch her toes as she tried to kick them in the air."

    Nyggus

  2. Miner49'er's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Dutch
      • Home Country:
      • Belgium
      • Current Location:
      • Belgium

    • Join Date: Nov 2006
    • Posts: 412
    #4

    Re: Margaret

    That sentence doesn't sound good

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Polish
      • Home Country:
      • Poland
      • Current Location:
      • Poland

    • Join Date: Jan 2006
    • Posts: 2,081
    #5

    Re: Margaret

    Quote Originally Posted by Miner49'er View Post
    That sentence doesn't sound good
    Which one? Besides, if that written by Jane Walsh did sound good, I wouldn't have started this thread.

    Nyggus

  3. Miner49'er's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Dutch
      • Home Country:
      • Belgium
      • Current Location:
      • Belgium

    • Join Date: Nov 2006
    • Posts: 412
    #6

    Re: Margaret

    Ok, I hereby humbly appologize for trying to be of any help.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Polish
      • Home Country:
      • Poland
      • Current Location:
      • Poland

    • Join Date: Jan 2006
    • Posts: 2,081
    #7

    Re: Margaret

    Quote Originally Posted by Miner49'er View Post
    Ok, I hereby humbly appologize for trying to be of any help.
    No no no, please do not get me wrong. I am just trying to find whether there is a problem in her sentence (which might be a technical problem that occurred in printing), so I am not trying to make the sentence better-sounding: it would be like rewriting Shakespeare's works to make them sound better. I really do appreciate your help!



    Nyggus

  4. Miner49'er's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Dutch
      • Home Country:
      • Belgium
      • Current Location:
      • Belgium

    • Join Date: Nov 2006
    • Posts: 412
    #8

    Re: Margaret

    Hehe, n.p. .... If I should have known that the sentence was written by a renowned writer I even wouldn't have dare to think about altering it.

    B.t.w. I did a Google search on "Jane Walch", it returned a lot of hits but a lot of different professions too.
    Can you please give me the name of one of her works so I can narrow the search?
    Last edited by Miner49'er; 13-Jan-2007 at 10:18.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Polish
      • Home Country:
      • Poland
      • Current Location:
      • Poland

    • Join Date: Jan 2006
    • Posts: 2,081
    #9

    Re: Margaret

    The sentence I quoted was from "Not like this" (published in 1955), but I haven't looked for other positions. I will do that soon.

    Nyggus

  5. curmudgeon's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Mar 2006
    • Posts: 1,657
    #10

    Re: Margaret

    Quote Originally Posted by Miner49'er View Post
    Hehe, n.p. .... If I should have known that the sentence was written by a renowned writer I even wouldn't have dare to think about altering it.

    B.t.w. I did a Google search on "Jane Walch", it returned a lot of hits but a lot of different professions too.
    Can you please give me the name of one of her works so I can narrow the search?
    Try Jane Walsh, not 'Walch'

    Anyway I have not read the book, but I would think these changes make it better;
    Your entry...
    "Margaret would lie on a blanket on the grass, chuckling and try to catch her toes as she tried to kick them in the air."
    My interpretation...
    Margaret would lie on a blanket on the grass, chuckling and trying to catch her toes as she (delete tried) kicked them in the air.

    or
    Margaret would lie on a blanket on the grass, chuckling and trying to catch her toes as she kicked them in the air

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •