and few people- do you mean this or 'a few'? Repeated error- sort out the difference (paragraph 4)
asks for workers with studies- rephrase this
people who finish high school is prepared- subject/verb agreement error
Most of the employers- which employers?
people graduated from university- what do you call people who have graduates from university?
want to know more than they do.- does 'than they do' help? Maybe rephrase the whole bit
make the human being mature- what's the subject of this?
in which they are interested in- Paul MacCartney holds the world record for unnecessary prepositions when he sang 'in this world in which we live in'; don't follow him
Despite the fact that going to university is frowned upon, a small number of people go to college to start friendships.- I think that something's missing from this sentence
Even, there are - As a general piece of advice, I would imagine an alarm bell going off in your head every time you are tempted to use the word 'even'; it's very commonly used wrongly, so try to sort this out.
OK, make the changes and we'll chat about the quality. As I explained, I am in a bit of a rush today.
Student or Learner