Application letter

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HyphenSpider

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Hi people!

Well, this is the first time I write a letter of application, so I think I'll need your help in order to correct any mistakes I made (note: both the grammar and the organisation must be good). Thank you very much.


15 High Street
Blackstock
Essex CM21 8BG
Mobile: 655555555

28th January 2007

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to apply for the post of sales assistant, which was advertised in the Times Paper on 26th January 2007.

I am currently unemployed. Up until two weeks ago, however, I was working for Blackwell Bookshops as a sales assistant. The time I spent there (nearly two years) improved my ability to deal with costumers in a polite and friendly way as well as my negotiation skills. I left that job because there was no longer scope for me to use all my knowledge and experience. My boss, Mr Thomson, gave me a very good reference when I left.

As you can see in the enclosed curriculum vitae, I speak and write perfect Spanish and Catalan, and have a fluent spoken and written English. I am also used to utilising computers.

Working for your company appeals very much to me, mostly because it is a leading company in the field and provides good promotion opportunities, not to talk about the great work conditions you offer.

For all the reasons above, I hope you will consider me for the job. I am available for an interview at any time, and I can be contacted most easily on the mobile phone number given above.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

[FONT=&quot]FirstName LastName


Once again, thank you very much!
[/FONT]
 

HyphenSpider

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Just in case you need it, here you have the advertisement I replied to:

HARRODS of Knightsbridge in London have vacancies for enthusiastic and skilles SALES ASSISTANTS full time and part time. Experience preferred but not essential as training is given. Company offers competitive salary, rota day off, generous staff discout and four weeks holiday.
We require passionate and versatile staff to drive Harrods forward with fresh ideas and maintain our position as the world's most luxurious department store.
Please amail your CV to recruitment@harrods.com or visit us at out Recruitment Centre in Basil Street (behind the store) between 10am and 4pm Monday to Friday.
 

HyphenSpider

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Woopsss sorry, I just realised I posted this in the wrong place... :oops:

Can someone move it to the CVs, Resumes and Applications forum, please?

Thanks,
 

rehana82

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Hi

RE: application

It is okay but there are some grammer errors. correction-customers

Please do not mention why you left your last job as it sounds quite negative. you don't have to say how long you been unemployed perhaps its best to skip to skills you have and what you can offer them. please also mention why you think you are the best candidate for this job.

Goodluck!

I hope you get the job.
Rehana
 

HyphenSpider

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It is okay but there are some grammer errors.

Ok. Can you please let me know where these are?

Please do not mention why you left your last job as it sounds quite negative.

I know. I also noticed it sounds quite 'pretentious', and even more when I say that 'there was no longer scope for me to use all my knowledge and experience'... But I don't want them to think that I was fired from my old job, and that is all I came up with lol. Any ideas?

you don't have to say how long you been unemployed

Once again, by saying this I'm just trying to make them think I left because I wanted to.

please also mention why you think you are the best candidate for this job.

I've already done that. When I say that I'm good at languages and computers, and have working experience, and can deal with customers in a polite and friendly way and so on, I mean they should hire me.
 

Anglika

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15 High Street
Blackstock
Essex CM21 8BG
Mobile: 655555555

28th January 2007

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to apply for the post of sales assistant, advertised in The Times on 26th January 2007.

I am currently unemployed. Up until two weeks ago, however, I was For the last two years I have been working for Blackwell Bookshops as a sales assistant. The time I spent there improved my ability to deal with customers in a polite and friendly way as well as honing my negotiation skills. I left that job because there was no longer scope for me to use all my knowledge and experience. My boss, Mr Thomson, gave me a very good reference when I left. I am now seeking to further my experience in sales, and to expand my knowledge.

As you can see from the enclosed curriculum vitae, I speak and write perfect Spanish and Catalan, and have fluent spoken and written English. I am also used to computers.

Working for your company appeals very much to me, mostly because it is a leading company in the field and provides good promotion opportunities, not to talk about the great work conditions you offer. as well as having excellent working conditions.

For all the reasons above, I hope you will consider me for the job. I am available for an interview at any time, and I can be contacted most easily on the mobile phone number given above.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

[FONT=&quot]FirstName LastName


Once again, thank you very much!
[/FONT][/quote]

You can give the name of referees at the end of your cv. Or mention that you have references to show if required.
 

HyphenSpider

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For the last two years I have been working for Blackwell Bookshops as a sales assistant. The time I spent there improved my ability to deal with customers in a polite and friendly way as well as honing my negotiation skills.


But don't you think that, if I use the present perfect continous in the first sentence, I should use the same tense in all the paragraph? If I am right, then your version doesn't work, since I have to be unemployed (I forgot to mention that this is school work, and so I have to follow the instructions I'm given). Anyway, I've been thinking about how to change this paragraph and I've come up with this:

I am currently unemployed. Up until two weeks ago, however, I was working for Blackwell Bookshops as a sales assistant. The time I spent there (nearly two years) improved my ability to deal with customers in a polite and friendly way as well as my negotiation skills
(why do I need to use another verb, here, by the way?). I had to quit that job because it took me too long to get there (or 'because it was too far from my home' - does that sound better?). My boss, Mr Thomson, gave me a very good referenfce when I left.

I am writing to apply for the post of sales assistant, advertised in The Times on 26th January 2007.

I think I know why you changed the name of the newspaper, but if you realise, the newspaper in which I found the advertisement was called 'Times Paper' ;-) .

Working for your company appeals very much to me, mostly because it is a leading company in the field and provides good promotion opportunities,not to talk about the great work conditions you offer. as well as having excellent working conditions.

Does what I wrote sound too informal? If so, could you please give me some more alternative sentences?

You can give the name of referees at the end of your cv. Or mention that you have references to show if required.


I know, but I want to show in the letter that I was not fired from the job.


Thank you a whole lot for replying!!
 

Anglika

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Rewrite your letter, removing the green bits and using the blue ones. You will see that it then expresses what you are trying to say.

"The Times" is the correct way of referring to this newspaper.

Generally, when citing references, this is given in the cv, not the letter of application.

Are you seriously applying for this job?
 

HyphenSpider

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For the last two years I have been working for Blackwell Bookshops as a sales assistant. The time I (have?) spent there (has?) improved my ability to deal withcustomers in a polite and friendly way as well as honing my negotiation skills. I am now seeking to further my experience in sales, and to expand my knowledge.

How come we don't have to use the present perfect there? And, in any case, does what I wrote sound bad or unnatural?:

I am currently unemployed. Up until two weeks ago, however, I was working for Blackwell Bookshops as a sales assistant. The time I spent there (nearly two years) improved my ability to deal with customers in a polite and friendly way as well as my negotiation skills. I had to quit that job because it took me too long to get there. My boss, Mr Thomson, gave me a very good referenfce when I left.

"The Times" is the correct way of referring to this newspaper.

What newspaper? I am referring to a newspaper called 'Times Paper' ;-) lol (I know there isn't an newspaper with that name, but I made it up).

Generally, when citing references, this is given in the cv, not the letter of application.

Ok, I believe what you say. It's the same in Spanish and Catalan. However, my teacher said we have to add this information, so...

Are you seriously applying for this job?

Nope. Like I said, it's a 'training' exercise.

Thanks!!
 

RonBee

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For the last two years I have been working for Blackwell Bookshops as a sales assistant. The time I (have?) spent there (has?) improved my ability to deal withcustomers in a polite and friendly way as well as honing my negotiation skills. I am now seeking to further my experience in sales, and to expand my knowledge.

Almost perfect. Try:
For the last two years I have been working for Blackwell Bookshops as a sales assistant. The time I have spent there has improved my ability to deal with customers in a polite and friendly way as well as honing my negotiation skills. I am now seeking to further my experience in sales, and to expand my knowledge in that field.
~R
 

HyphenSpider

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Sorry for being such a pain but, since this is a school exercise, I have to follow the instructions given, and they say I am currently unemployed. So, once again, does my paragraph sound unnatural?:

I am currently unemployed. Up until two weeks ago, however, I was working for Blackwell Bookshops as a sales assistant. The time I spent there (nearly two years) improved my ability to deal with customers in a polite and friendly way as well as my negotiation skills. I had to quit that job because it took me too long to get there. My boss, Mr Thomson, gave me a very good referenfce when I left.

Oh, one more thing! Why do I have to say 'honing' after 'as well as'?

Thank you very much!!
 

RonBee

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Let's look at that sentence. "The time I spent there" did two things.

The time I spent there
improved my ability to deal with customers in a polite and friendly way

and gave me an opportunity to improve my negotiating skills.
You don't need to say that you took advantage of that opportunity, since that is implied.

What do you think of the revised sentence?

~R
 

HyphenSpider

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The time I spent there

improved my ability to deal with customers in a polite and friendly way

improved my negotiating skills.
What you say is true, but I can still not understand what makes what I wrote above wrong. Why can't I omit the second verb if it's the same as the first one?
 

RonBee

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Okay, how about:
The time I spent there improved both my ability to deal with customers and my negotiating skills.
I don't totally like that sentence. (It's not the time you spent there but what you did with that made you improve yourself.) However, I have restructured it so you don't have to use the same verb twice. (Tdol would do a better job of explaining the whys.)

~R
 

HyphenSpider

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The time I spent there improved both my ability to deal with customers and my negotiating skills.

That's it! This sentence sounds just great!! Thanks! :-D

I don't totally like that sentence. (It's not the time you spent there but what you did with that made you improve yourself.)

Yes, I agree. But I put it that way and no one seemed to realise it, so I thought it would be OK. How would you rewrite it?

And one more question... I'm not quite sure I understand this:

It's not the time you spent there but what you did with that made you improve yourself.

There's something missing, isn't there?? :-?


Thank you very much!!
 
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